tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80148800436267979802024-03-05T00:35:06.559-08:00SINGLE Mom in a complicated worlda single moms journey to peace, happiness, freedom and contentment.Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.comBlogger521125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-34966636509310441622013-11-21T10:41:00.001-08:002013-11-21T10:41:38.819-08:005 years ago today....5 years ago today my children were in school.<br />
they did not know it was their last day there.<br />
they did not know they would not see those friends again.<br />
they did not know..<br />
nor did I!<br />
<br />
5 years ago today my heart was broken.<br />
I was feeling hopeless<br />
I was feeling despair,<br />
I was feeling trapped.<br />
I did not know what I would do...<br />
I fretted....<br />
<br />
5 years ago today I knew I had made a terrible mistake.<br />
I knew I should not be where I was<br />
and never should have been there to begin with.<br />
I knew it would not get better.<br />
I knew it was getting worse.<br />
I knew.......<br />
<br />
5 years ago today I broke.<br />
I had enough.<br />
I reached my limit.<br />
I decided I would not take it any more.<br />
I fled. I ran.<br />
I left my home, my phone, my hell..behind.<br />
I escaped....<br />
<br />
5 years ago today I faced the darkest weekend of my life.<br />
I was lonely.<br />
I was isolated.<br />
I was scared.<br />
I sheltered myself even from those who wanted to help.<br />
I ran from the one I knew would hurt.<br />
I hid....<br />
<br />
5 years ago today I faced my dragon.<br />
I stood up for myself. <br />
I found strength within myself I did not know was there.<br />
I shook like a leaf<br />
but I never fell.<br />
I overcame...<br />
<br />
5 years ago today I began the process of rebuilding my life.<br />
I learned to accept, let go, understand and start fresh.<br />
I began to provide for myself and my family.<br />
I began to stand on my own feet<br />
and I grew stronger every day.<br />
I healed.<br />
<br />
5 years ago today I began to become who I am now..<br />
I accepted my weaknesses<br />
and learned from my lessons.<br />
I learned to see my strengths<br />
and began to value my abilities.<br />
I can look back on my memories<br />
and draw strength from my scars.<br />
I thrived....<br />
<br />
<br />
Today<br />
I see a woman who was once broken<br />
and yet is now whole.<br />
I see my children thriving<br />
and my life unfolding.<br />
I see peace and joy and contentment.<br />
I grew....<br />
<br />
<br />
5 years ago...<br />
made me who I am<br />
Today!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-41427998139644398592013-11-05T20:43:00.000-08:002013-11-05T20:45:08.999-08:00my not -so- pretty chip...Part of healing and growth<br />
is self checks.<br />
Lately I have noticed<br />
a not so pretty chip..<br />
on my shoulder!<br />
<br />
here is the thing:<br />
its tough being a single parent.<br />
its tough going to bed alone every night.<br />
its tough worrying about the bills alone.<br />
it tough navigating teen moods without a partner.<br />
its tough planning vacations without a spouse.<br />
its tough being the one to investigate the noises at night.<br />
its tough being the end all, be all on 'your' days.<br />
its tough in more ways then I can list.<br />
its tough.<br />
<br />
Sometimes<br />
I feel that few get that.<br />
sometimes<br />
I feel alienated from friends<br />
whose lives look different.<br />
sometimes<br />
I feel isolated <br />
from those who have someone to help.<br />
<br />
<u><em>I have a chip on my shoulder.</em></u><br />
<br />
I carry my wounds at the surface.<br />
I use my scars as a shield.<br />
I have built a wall around me<br />
because I feel that I have given all I have to give.<br />
<br />
And yet what I am finally realizing <br />
is that I don't have to be understood<br />
to be loved and accepted.<br />
I don't have to understand<br />
to love and accept in return!<br />
<br />
We each have our burdens.<br />
Many carry crosses I would not bear the weight of.<br />
<br />
My life is what it is!<br />
I can compare<br />
I can allow myself to look at those <br />
with 'partners'<br />
and distance myself because 'they don't know how hard it is'..<br />
and I will cheat myself out of the many aspects of life<br />
there are to live.<br />
<br />
I did not know this chip lived there<br />
I did not realize how close to the surface my hurt resides.<br />
I did not understand how much my 'isolation' was holding me back.<br />
<em>until I did.</em><br />
<br />
Starting now <br />
I purpose to look beyond the surface <br />
of those around me.<br />
I set out to understand that they may not carry my hurts<br />
but they carry their own.<br />
I commit to accept that no one else has to know<br />
how hard it is, I know. <br />
I intend to look beyond circumstances<br />
and see people for who they are,<br />
and allow them to see me<br />
as more then just a struggling single mom.<br />
<br />
I am so much more.<br />
My singleness..<br />
My battle..<br />
My wounds..<br />
do not define me.<br />
<br />
Its time to forgive those<br />
who hurt me<br />
by very virtue <br />
of not wearing the same size shoe.<br />
Its time to let go<br />
of who I was<br />
and embrace with open arms who I am...<br />
single..<br />
complicated..<br />
empowered..<br />
me!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-21759696709250666512013-10-18T11:14:00.003-07:002013-10-18T11:18:04.341-07:00lessons, love,life and living....So much has happened<br />
in my heart<br />
these past 5 years,<br />
yes. five!<br />
<br />
seems huge..<br />
seems long..<br />
seems short..<br />
IS significant.<br />
one month from now,<br />
I celebrate a milestone;<br />
5 years since I ran.<br />
<br />
I have learned so much.<br />
I have learned that I can love,<br />
and loose<br />
and hurt<br />
and cry,<br />
I have learned<br />
that I can survive<br />
and work<br />
and provide<br />
and protect...<br />
<br />
I have redefined <br />
what love looks like..<br />
I have come to a place<br />
of knowing <br />
that what I want<br />
and what I need<br />
might be different.<br />
What I hope for<br />
is someone who is my 'other half'...<br />
no more. no less.<br />
<br />
Life has taught me,<br />
carried me..<br />
sustained me..<br />
and existed beside me.<br />
<br />
And through it all..<br />
I live.<br />
I live with tears,<br />
I live with laughter.<br />
I live with grace..<br />
and fears.<br />
I live with strength<br />
and sometimes weakness.<br />
<br />
I strive for more,<br />
accept what is;<br />
I look to find the breath <br />
within the moments.<br />
I fail sometimes.<br />
I start over.<br />
I wish sometimes...<br />
I dream sometimes..<br />
I wonder sometimes..<br />
but always I am. <br />
Always I become.<br />
Always I live.Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-29424946564486069172013-10-09T16:49:00.000-07:002013-10-09T16:50:57.919-07:00forty,fit'ish', frazzled....fabulousSo..<br />
it happened.<br />
I turned 40!<br />
and I feel...<br />
well..<br />
exactly the same.<br />
<br />
However,<br />
as I reflect<br />
I know<br />
that I have come to accept<br />
where I am differently!<br />
I still get tired.<br />
I still get overwhelmed.<br />
but what for some, <br />
would be too much-<br />
for me is every day.<br />
normal.<br />
routine.<br />
<br />
recently,<br />
I heard a mom at a ball game<br />
say:<br />
"I am doing the single parent <br />
thing for the week.God HELP ME"<br />
and I remembered <br />
that there was a time,<br />
it would have felt TOO much.<br />
There still are moments<br />
that it IS.<br />
But, no longer do I worry,<br />
or fret,<br />
or wonder if I can truly do this..<br />
face this..<br />
live this..<br />
survive this!<br />
<br />
I am thankful<br />
that in reflection<br />
I can see how far I have come.<br />
I can own<br />
how far I have to go.<br />
I can accept that single parenting<br />
and doing life alone,<br />
is hard;<br />
no matter how much love and support<br />
you have!<br />
I can believe that this is just <br />
the start..<br />
and something great is waiting.<br />
and I can focus<br />
on the raw and transparent beauty of my life.<br />
<br />
I like who I am..<br />
I am comfortable in my own skin..<br />
I have balance and fun.<br />
I work so very hard..<br />
and I play so very purposefully.<br />
I parent with all I have,<br />
and I love without restraint.<br />
<br />
I am forty!<br />
I am fit 'ish'!<br />
I am frazzled!<br />
and it feels Fabulous!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-9335015911080267262013-09-17T13:35:00.001-07:002013-09-18T17:22:11.809-07:00Too much Jade..or the right shade?Recently..<br />
a date that was 'blah' to me,<br />
ended with an attack of words<br />
on the rejected parties part!<br />
<br />
I was told that I am too jaded<br />
to see a good thing!<br />
I will admit..<br />
several men have tried to 'woo' me<br />
over the past few months,<br />
and maybe they all would say the same thing!<br />
<br />
BUT<br />
<br />
here is what I think!<br />
I am a little jaded.<br />
I do not put too much stock<br />
in the pretty words, <br />
and heady emotions<br />
that tend to start off<br />
a new relationship!<br />
I think its fun,<br />
and allow it the due <br />
it deserves..<br />
but what I put value on,<br />
is the part that is too come!!<br />
<br />
The part AFTER the 'puppy love'..<br />
the part BEYOND the 'infatuation!<br />
<br />
The moment when this man<br />
who thinks the fact that I burn everything<br />
is adorable at first;<br />
has now experienced it<br />
and decided that while its not as cute<br />
as he thought...<br />
its still OK!<br />
THAT part!!<br />
<br />
The part where I have gotten lost<br />
several times<br />
or asked for more communication..<br />
or pouted a little because my feelings are hurt,<br />
or brought home a stray cat, or goat or cow:)<br />
...<br />
and its still OK!<br />
<br />
the part that follows the beginning!<br />
The part that precedes forever!<br />
<br />
Do I believe in all that?<br />
yes!<br />
Why?<br />
because I have seen it in action!<br />
my parents have loved eachother for 47 years!<br />
I have a sister happily married..<br />
and friends who have found love 'again'.<br />
And bigger then that..<br />
I believe in the perfection of my father above's plan.<br />
<br />
So, I am hesistant!<br />
and I am careful!<br />
I do not rush to give my heart<br />
because I know that when I do,<br />
I will give it completely!<br />
<br />
but, jaded beyond measure?<br />
no...<br />
smart?<br />
careful?<br />
aware?<br />
yes, yes and yes!<br />
<br />
beyond hope?<br />
not on your life!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-28805844556807263792013-07-26T05:02:00.001-07:002013-07-26T05:02:02.925-07:00Sticks and stonesWe all know sticks and stones can hurt..<br />
we also know that words can harm...<br />
but what about;<br />
disapointment,<br />
disheartened hope,<br />
broken promises,<br />
deception,<br />
misleading...<br />
that does not just harm;<br />
it changes a heart!<br />
<br />
dating again...<br />
or trying,<br />
after 2 bumps in a row<br />
has proved much harder<br />
then expected!<br />
I read so much into words,<br />
I feel like I have heard them before,<br />
I see danger in every sign,<br />
and red flags are in everything!<br />
<br />
I know that in time<br />
I might trust more easily,<br />
and I understand that my new<br />
found caution<br />
has been earned honestly;<br />
one hurt at a time.<br />
<br />
but, in this moment;<br />
I regret the trust I gave..<br />
because it seems to have cost me<br />
the ability to trust again.<br />
<br />
and yet I remember<br />
thats its just for now..<br />
always just for now..<br />
Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-29598262488054143222013-07-04T19:29:00.002-07:002013-07-04T19:29:31.260-07:00should have been..instead....what is!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVHy9IoNbO8qMWcXfcS9bnntoAMK0RSMTNTbMq6-cjuoxsyVR8FUylsq76lWgnvDn530yL8mcADv8NzLC_meNWzXBK_1Ewl45KojO7mEudFHHYsU3isFA0zIYHqHNvbkSY2GBHnlQyEb4/s960/vacation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVHy9IoNbO8qMWcXfcS9bnntoAMK0RSMTNTbMq6-cjuoxsyVR8FUylsq76lWgnvDn530yL8mcADv8NzLC_meNWzXBK_1Ewl45KojO7mEudFHHYsU3isFA0zIYHqHNvbkSY2GBHnlQyEb4/s320/vacation.jpg" width="161" /></a></div>
<br />
I just spent an amzing few days<br />
on vacation...<br />
I was supposed to be doing something<br />
else..<br />
but life threw me a curve!<br />
Instead..<br />
I did this!<br />
and loved every minute....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMH4GZakjRjtAHb2_i2gltB52FYwPXvi8esvQ-IOHCOcUBAj8QtiAqPjQJxF5uGdleQa68VGd6f6cjm-VRItQ-RTJjAdWcWGpq4KRLgHpVRC0mroWLBaeRdUSisQ0jhPSrJWxNct59FMI/s960/vacation2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMH4GZakjRjtAHb2_i2gltB52FYwPXvi8esvQ-IOHCOcUBAj8QtiAqPjQJxF5uGdleQa68VGd6f6cjm-VRItQ-RTJjAdWcWGpq4KRLgHpVRC0mroWLBaeRdUSisQ0jhPSrJWxNct59FMI/s320/vacation2.jpg" width="196" /></a></div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Time with a friend..</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
giggles..</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
and dinners..</div>
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and kayaking through a perilous</div>
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ocean storm...</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8gUf78xlMPjC8JWNGANXI1LHbEWMO65YTcVDXspLH9BwYWPgn1JluTre8DH98lPZ94s7EVZlXuAnjbxuIgVspbxa76TS1Vc0djzo3ZBq1aUSx4bywEBJl-lTB5l-OcyWZ9YU1cmxnGVY/s960/vacation+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8gUf78xlMPjC8JWNGANXI1LHbEWMO65YTcVDXspLH9BwYWPgn1JluTre8DH98lPZ94s7EVZlXuAnjbxuIgVspbxa76TS1Vc0djzo3ZBq1aUSx4bywEBJl-lTB5l-OcyWZ9YU1cmxnGVY/s320/vacation+1.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Time alone...</div>
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time to think...</div>
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and walk..</div>
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and reflect...</div>
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above all:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
a few days to be reminded,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
that we make our own memories..</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
we hold the power to create our</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
own experiences;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
and sometimes what should have been</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
does not measure up</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
to what instead IS!</div>
<br />Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-828098299118951852013-06-30T19:55:00.004-07:002013-06-30T19:55:59.887-07:00The color of happiness...I was paid a very <br />
nice compliment today<br />
when someone told me;<br />
"happiness looks good on you"..<br />
<br />
it made me think..<br />
I am happy!<br />and yet,<br />
its been a brutal 6 months.<br />
back to back<br />
misses...<br />
hurts..<br />
mistakes...<br />
lessons.<br />
<br />
And yet,<br />
I am happy!<br />
I am not defined by the people<br />
who say things<br />
that I hope they mean..<br />
or the moments<br />
that feel to good to be true.<br />
nor am I defined by<br />
the questions and doubt<br />
left behind.<br />
<br />
Instead..<br />
I can learn!<br />I can know to trust my gut<br />
the next time.<br />
I can choose to walk<br />
when flags fly,<br />
instead of taking a risk<br />
when I know what the <br />
outcome will be!<br />
I can take a chance..<br />
or play it safe.<br />
but I will face it with eyes more open<br />
then ever before.<br />
<br />
regardless..<br />
its a lesson.<br />
its not who I am...<br />
<br />
Who am I?<br />
happy!<br />
christian!<br />
mama!<br />
daughter!<br />busy!<br />
kayaker!<br />shooter!<br />girlfriend to many!<br />
sister!<br />
runner!<br />
swimmer!<br />
vacationer!<br />
reader!<br />
.......and more.....<br />
<br />
I am so much more<br />
then the disapointments...<br />
<br />
I am not sure what the color<br />
of 'dadgum, I did it again'<br />
looks like..<br />
but I know that wearing the color<br />
of happiness<br />
brings out my best!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-64068215654883516042013-06-23T17:04:00.001-07:002013-06-23T17:27:22.473-07:00The sliver lining...so as of late..<br />
life has taught me<br />
that its time to take<br />
a step back...<br />
to reevaluate my hearts choices,<br />
and to heal from<br />
the hiccups along the way!<br />
<br />
I could wonder<br />
at the whys.<br />
and I could cry over<br />
the seeming 'lack of love'<br />
in my life..<br />
<br />
but, I don't and I won't..<br />
because <br />
the silver lining in my life,<br />
in the contentment<br />
and 'fullness'<br />
of the life I live.<br />
<br />
One of reasons for the depth<br />
of joy I feel is;<br />
I am blessed with <br />
truly great friendships!<br />
Not just one or two..<br />
but several!!!<br />
<br />
I have the friends that are my safe place.<br />
That know me.<br />
Get me.<br />
accept me.<br />
and take care of me.<br />
I have a couple of friends that I can<br />
spill it all too.<br />
the good, the ugly, and the questionable.<br />
I know they won't judge,<br />
or tell me only what I want to hear.<br />
I have the friends that I can just<br />
pass time with.<br />
sometimes with heart to heart talks,<br />
and sometimes idle chatter!<br />
I have the friend that knew me then,<br />
and knows me now,<br />
and will call me on my choices.<br />
and yet, supports me when I go the <br />
wrong way!<br />
I have the friend<br />
that pushes me outside my limits<br />
and are always up for some thing 'new'.<br />
I have friends who read my heart<br />
and catch me when I fall.<br />
I have friends that I can laugh with<br />
and be completely me.<br />
I have a friend that I can walk with,<br />
for miles..never running out of things to say.<br />
as we catch up on health and life.<br />
I have the friend<br />
that I enjoy day trips <br />
and even nights away with..<br />
beach days,<br />
and lake afternoons.<br />
Who is easy to be with,<br />
and I am always enriched by our time.<br />
I have the high school best friend..<br />
that is my best friend still, 20 plus years later.<br />
and more..<br />
<br />
Some people wait a lifetime<br />
for a friendship<br />
that stands the test of trial and time..<br />
I have been blessed by many.<br />
Friends I see every few months<br />
and even every few years..<br />
friends I don't go more then a few<br />
days without chatting with!<br />
Friends I walk with, talk with, travel with,<br />
cry with, complain with, brainstorm with, <br />
laugh with...<br />
<br />
I may not have met 'Mr right'.<br />
I may not have found a man who<br />
will treasure my heart for the rest of time..<br />
but I have the gift of friendships.<br />
that enrich my life<br />
beyond measure.<br />
truly a silver lining<br />
in my single life.Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-66077831570463034112013-06-14T15:51:00.002-07:002013-06-14T15:51:48.375-07:00single bucket list in progress....Last summer I stared a single bucket list,<br />
things I want to do <br />
with or without that special someone.<br />
I crossed a few things off...<br />
<br />
1) Salsa lessons<br />
2) Self defense- learned to shoot a gun!<br />
3) Cooking classes- changed my mind!:-)<br />
<span class="text_exposed_show">4) Painting class- found the teacher..its a start!<br /> 5) Blond highlights in my hair- done<br /> 6) Line dancing- done<br /> 7) Loose 5-10 pounds- doing<br /> 8) Get a facial<br /> 9) Start my book</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show">10) Kayaking or canoeing<br id=".reactRoot[228055].[1][1][1]{comment426388664079516_431603913557991}.[0].[0:1].[0].[0:1].[0].[0:0].[0][2].[0].[0:1]" /><span id=".reactRoot[228055].[1][1][1]{comment426388664079516_431603913557991}.[0].[0:1].[0].[0:1].[0].[0:0].[0][2].[0].[0:2]">11) Weekend camping trip</span><br id=".reactRoot[228055].[1][1][1]{comment426388664079516_431603913557991}.[0].[0:1].[0].[0:1].[0].[0:0].[0][2].[0].[0:3]" /><span id=".reactRoot[228055].[1][1][1]{comment426388664079516_431603913557991}.[0].[0:1].[0].[0:1].[0].[0:0].[0][2].[0].[0:4]">12) Camp at Disney</span><br id=".reactRoot[228055].[1][1][1]{comment426388664079516_431603913557991}.[0].[0:1].[0].[0:1].[0].[0:0].[0][2].[0].[0:5]" /><span id=".reactRoot[228055].[1][1][1]{comment426388664079516_431603913557991}.[0].[0:1].[0].[0:1].[0].[0:0].[0][2].[0].[0:6]">13) Take a surfing lesson- does a surfing experience in Miami count?</span></span><br />
14) play my guitar- did, and decided not so exciting to me!<br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show">And so,</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show">I pulled back out my list!<br />and decided its time to make things happen!</span><br />
<br />
Kayaking is still on the list.<br />
Now I am adding traitholon.<br />
which means riding a bike.<br />
<br />
Will be working on my list..<br />
whats on yours?<br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"></span><br />Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-1281004009938650562013-06-13T19:38:00.003-07:002013-06-13T19:38:57.471-07:00Remember when...Tonight I had a 'flash back'..<br />
to a time when life was NOT content.<br />
I was transported to a memory<br />
which found me<br />
sad, and desperate, and scared.<br />
I remembered what it was to crave<br />
freedom..<br />
and to long to be released.<br />
In that memory,<br />
I also walked through<br />
the strength it took to leave.<br />
The power I had to summon<br />
to face my fears,<br />
and live out my bad dreams.<br />
And what I remembered most?<br />
is that I did it!<br />I survived!<br />I overcame!<br />and now..<br />
life sometimes hurts!<br />It some times makes me wonder<br />
why?<br />
and when?<br />
and what next?<br />
but, it does not find me hiding..<br />
or cringing..!<br />
so remembering 'when'<br />
helped me to remember that 'now'<br />
I will be OK!<br />more then ok...!<br />I have faced worse and survived.<br />
this?<br />
piece of cake!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-61760366375667346652013-05-14T11:04:00.002-07:002013-05-14T11:13:42.567-07:00fearless...Fearless in love,<br />
what does that mean...<br />
how does that look?<br />
<br />
The last time I was fearless..<br />
I was seventeen.<br />
16 years later<br />
I had to reevaluate if my lack of fear<br />
had paid off.<br />
What I knew<br />
is that now fear of being hurt<br />
must be my friend;<br />
and partner!<br />
<br />
And yet still..<br />
despite caution<br />
I found myself trapped..<br />
cornered...<br />
panting for air..<br />
desperate to run...<br />
crying for escape.<br />
<br />
hunted.<br />
shaking.<br />
hidden.<br />
searching.<br />
hurt.<br />
scared.<br />
haunted.<br />
secluded.<br />
<br />
fear was no longer a choice.<br />
fear was demanded by the lifeline<br />
of my very being.<br />
fear became the casing wrapped around my heart!<br />
fear became the mantra of my soul.<br />
fear became my battle cry.<br />
the blood pumping through my heart<br />
whispered 'be cautious' as it flowed.<br />
the rhythm of my heart, <br />
beat to the timing<br />
of a warrior chant.<br />
<br />
fear was my saving grace...<br />
protecting me from what was.<br />
but also keeping me from what might be...<br />
<br />
Until I fell in love.<br />
Now fear has turned a corner.<br />
No longer do I fear a forever..<br />
or a deception.<br />
or that I am missing a puzzle piece.<br />
<br />
Instead I fear a lifetime of not taking a chance.<br />
I fear missing moments that I might never get back.<br />
I fear living without truly living at all.<br />
GREATER then my fear of getting my heart broken..<br />
is my fear of not letting my heart<br />
know true wholeness and complete love.<br />
No longer is the scariest thing <br />
the strength of my feelings...<br />
and all that could go wrong;<br />
but rather living a lifetime<br />
never knowing what my heart <br />
is truly capable of giving <br />
and accepting in return.<br />
<br />
And so..<br />
I have begun to let the fear go..<br />
I have stepped into the feelings and emotions <br />
and let my heart soar.<br />
I have stopped adding 'but' or 'if' or 'maybe' <br />
to the end of my sentences....<br />
I have opened my heart<br />
and given completely of me.<br />
I have decided to take the chance<br />
that was handed to me..<br />
and I have accepted the odds.<br />
<br />
I am standing on the edge of the precipice <br />
of fearlessness,<br />
knowing as I dive off the cliff..<br />
I will never look back.<br />
<br />
A free fall<br />
into a forever <br />
that will never look the same again.Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-68184522460820924782013-04-22T20:00:00.001-07:002013-04-22T20:07:22.243-07:00Learning to fall....<div>
I am learning that falling</div>
<div>
is easy..</div>
<div>
its the landing thats scary!</div>
<div>
<br />
What will be waiting when you get there..</div>
<div>
will the landing be soft?</div>
<div>
or will it leave you broken and bruised?</div>
<div>
will the landing be followed</div>
<div>
by a journey,</div>
<div>
or will the journey</div>
<div>
end with the fall?</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br />
and yet, of all the aspects<br />
of the ride,</div>
<div>
the fall can be the prettiest..</div>
<div>
the most graceful..</div>
<div>
the biggest rush!</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br />
It's the scariest..</div>
<div>
the most thrilling...</div>
<div>
the part of the ride with the</div>
<div>
fewest guarantees..</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br />
but, if by chance..</div>
<div>
the fall</div>
<div>
is the beginning </div>
<div>
of something</div>
<div>
that you have yet to even imagine;</div>
<div>
you may not be falling;</div>
<div>
you may actually be learning</div>
<div>
how to fly!</div>
Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-71742362306366200292013-03-15T10:36:00.002-07:002013-03-15T10:36:46.092-07:00a rational risk..so once again..<br />I face the end of what was..<br />
the beginning of something new <br />
that is still<br />
yet to come.<br />
<br />
For no sinister reason..<br />
no unkind exchange..<br />
no spite or malice:<br />
just life-<br />
just timing-<br />
just:<br />
not for us.<br />
<br />
And yet,<br />
no matter the reason..<br />
it hurts!<br />The loss of HOPE,<br />
the missing of what WAS <br />
or might have been.<br />
the acceptance <br />
of heading out THERE again.<br />
<br />
I had almost forgotten<br />
how a heart ache could feel..<br />
almost!<br />
<br />
But, I have learned<br />
that the heart never forgets!<br />A small bump,<br />
a severing cut,<br />
a painful bruise...<br />
after a while it all feels the same!<br /><br />The hurt travels<br />
down a familiar path-<br />
no rhyme or reason<br />
and no reprieve!<br />
The mind can gain an ability<br />
to be objective<br />
that the heart never does!<br />
<br />
I have hurt before..<br />
I have certainly lived through<br />
my own personal hell..<br />
of heart break and loss!<br />
the loss of hope is sad <br />
but not devastating!<br />
a set back, disapointment <br />
or bump in the road- is just that!<br />
<br />
Could someone mention <br />
that to my heart?<br />
please?Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-22115788452688956422013-02-26T10:50:00.001-08:002013-02-26T11:04:06.175-08:00Harder still..It is not often that the past is on my mind..<br />
I have healed from even the worst,<br />
and have learned the lessons well.<br />
<br />
but once in a while...<br />
<br />
Lately at work I have been tired!<br />
I even uttered the phrase;<br />
"Hardest I have ever worked in my life"..<br />
<br />
and then I remembered...<br />
<br />
A time in my life when I was woken before the sun,<br />
and my morning started at a run.<br />
sitting was not an option..not for leisure!<br />
There was a large house to clean spotlessly,<br />
an office to manage,<br />
Children to homeschool.<br />
errands to run,<br />
meals to cook,<br />
swim lessons to teach,<br />
boxes to carry,<br />
lists to follow,<br />
schedules to keep!<br />
<br />
After all;<br />
I had to earn my keep!<br />
<br />
Not to mention:<br />
there were verbal bullets to dodge,<br />
and refuge from deep hurt to seek!<br />
<br />
My day began early!<br />
It ended late!<br />
<br />
A real life cinderalla..<br />
with no hope of a prince!<br />
<br />
I was SO tired!<br />
I remember <br />
KNOWING <br />
that I would probably never work<br />
so hard again !<br />
I knew then..<br />
that come what may...<br />
No matter what was to come<br />
as a single mom....<br />
I had faced the worst!!<br />
<br />
And yet,<br />
I forget!<br />
<br />
The memories fade..<br />
The pain is lost...<br />
The fabric of the experience<br />
woven deep within my mind!<br />
<br />
Until now:<br />
when I need the memory,<br />
when I need to draw on my past!<br />
<br />
That is why we learn the lessons!<br />
So that when we feel we cannot go on,<br />
when we are weary-<br />
when hope feels far away; <br />
we can draw from what 'was' <br />
and be reminded that it shall <br />
never 'be' again..<br />
and our strength from 'then'<br />
provides the very needed<br />
'push' for now.<br />
<br />
Lessons well learned<br />
become strength in reserve!<br />
<br />Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-77644351362031786352013-02-04T19:21:00.000-08:002013-02-04T19:21:13.755-08:00A life long friend ...This is a happy birthday..<br />
To a woman I call my best friend still..<br />
<br />
We met when we were 14...<br />
Something connected us!<br />
She was blond with brown eyes..<br />
I was brunette with blue!<br />
She needed just a few close friends-<br />
I never met someone<br />
I did not think I would know for life!<br />
She was crazy..<br />
I was ditzy!<br />
She was the good student<br />
I was a mess!<br />
She has an insanely clean room<br />
I had never seen my floor!!<br />
We balanced each other!<br />
<br />
Our high school years were spent<br />
Having sleepovers ...<br />
Perming each others hair<br />
And piercing our own ears!:)<br />
Going to concerts and of course<br />
Talking about boys!<br />
<br />
The friendship that formed<br />
Was thicker then the tears we each cried<br />
over puppy love<br />
And high school drama-<br />
It carried us through decades of life to come!<br />
<br />
Hers was the voice I wanted to hear<br />
When I felt all alone and miles from home..<br />
She was the friend I turned too<br />
When my dreams turned into a nightmare...<br />
She wiped my tears and held my hand!<br />
<br />
As time passed and I refound my footing<br />
Our friendship has evolved<br />
And we have become each others safe place!<br />
<br />
We don't have to talk daily or even weekly..<br />
And yet when we are together<br />
It's as if time has stood still!<br />
<br />
I am thankful beyond measure<br />
For a friendship<br />
That has stood the test of time and trials..<br />
Happy birthday nance!!!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-85578186265276693012012-09-26T19:04:00.000-07:002012-09-26T19:04:11.704-07:00Could you pick up some milk?There is no doubt that being a parent<br />
is exhausting!<br />the more children you have,<br />
the more activities and friends they have,<br />
the more running you do!<br />
<br />
Sometimes just being a mom<br />
says it all!<br />
<br />
but, sometimes being a single mom<br />
stands alone!<br />
<br />
Tonight as I felt spent,<br />
I tried to define why that is.<br />
As parents we are all busy!<br />
<br />
However,<br />
as a single mom-<br />
when I have my kids<br />
its all on me!<br />If we run out of milk,<br />
there is no one else to send!<br />If one of my kids needs help with homework,<br />
it does not matter whether I understand it-<br />
its on me!<br />if there is sporting event<br />
or church activity<br />
or sleep over,<br />
its on me!<br />
forms that need to be filled out..<br />
bills that need to be paid...<br />
calls that need to be made..<br />
projects that need to be done... <br />
Dinner..<br />
Cleaning...<br />
Discipline...<br />
its on me!<br />
<br />
Thats the hardest one!<br />
The discipline...<br />The really big things,<br />
I could call their dad.<br />
But, in the day to day..<br />
sassy girls..or hormonal pre-teens,<br />
or angry teenager,<br />
bad test grades or forgotten chores..<br />
sibling fights<br />
or lost items..<br />
its on me! <br />
even when I am at a loss..<br />
even when I wish I could just talk it out<br />
with some one else..<br />
even when I know that in this moment<br />
its beyond me,<br />
its on me!!<br />
<br />
And then there is the emotional part..<br />
the hurts that need comforting,<br />
the advice that needs giving..<br />
the lessons that need instilling...<br />
its on me! <br />
<br />
When they are with their dad..<br />
I get my break! <br />I make up for many full days<br />
and refresh..<br />
and then all of the above is on him!<br />
and I am sure,<br />
he would say the same!<br />
<br />
Doing parenting alone<br />
is rewarding..but...easy?<br />
not at all! <br />
<br />Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-19041260739468351312012-09-24T18:46:00.001-07:002012-09-24T18:48:21.359-07:00Enjoy it now...My daughter is almost 13.<br />
A great age to talk and chat with!<br />
<br />
We had some time in the car<br />
tonight!<br />
we talked about boys!:)<br />
She is still sure that she has no interest,<br />
and I just as sure<br />
that soon she will.<br />
<br />
As we talked<br />
I encouraged her<br />
to live her life,<br />
enjoy the opportunities<br />
still to come.<br />
"Don't rush , my love.<br />
Live!Enjoy!Experience!"<br />
<br />
BAM!!!<br />
Thats where I am!<br />
Thats what I have!<br />
<br />
As I spoke <br />
I shared with her the joy I find<br />
in my friends.<br />
The small trips planned away..<br />
the girls nights out.<br />
The gym work outs,<br />
the coffee's!<br />
<br />
I married at 18..<br />
I was married for almost 15 years<br />
and then married again! <br />
YIKES!<br />
and then when I found myself single<br />
I had to learn<br />
how to like being alone,<br />
How to be comfortable<br />
in my own skin.<br />
I had to figure out<br />
how to enjoy myself.<br />
Now, I really do!<br />
<br />
Thats not to say<br />
that someone worthwhile<br />
will make me want to give up<br />
some of these times..<br />
but it is to say,<br />
that I shall ENJOY it now!<br />
<br />
I shall:<br />
live!enjoy!experience!<br />
This moment..<br />
This season...<br />
This day!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-38717676837201135292012-09-23T07:13:00.001-07:002012-09-23T07:13:08.403-07:00Living in a DATING world...I sometimes wonder<br />
what it must be like<br />
for my girls,<br />
to have a single mother!<br />
<br />Not, the daily living,<br />
to be honest<br />
we are pretty good at that!<br />
But, the reality<br />
of a mother in the dating world!<br />
<br />They never meet my dates,<br />
and in fact<br />
assume I am pretty dateless.<br />
(often they assume right!)<br />
But, I tease about the single teachers<br />
and the cute football coaches,<br />
and they just ROLE their eyes!<br />
<br />
I have used it in moments<br />
as an example!<br />
Recently I went on a really<br />
awful date!<br />The date started with a dozen roses.<br />
The next day<br />
when my children<br />
saw the roses,<br />
I told them about my evening!<br />
<br />I shared with them<br />
that appearances and pretty words<br />
are not to be trusted-without actions.<br />
I told them about the beautiful roses,<br />
and handsome man,<br />
and complimentary words..<br />
and yet, how really WRONG<br />
of a fit it was!<br />Something I only knew<br />
because I listened to what My head and gut said,<br />
and did not get swept away<br />
in the glitter of romantic gestures!<br />
<br />
And so,<br />
I am sure<br />
its not easy having a mother<br />
in the dating world.<br />
But, I hope<br />
the lessons they learn<br />
along with me;<br />
will make it all worth while!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-22217776668117658192012-09-22T05:26:00.002-07:002012-09-22T10:18:09.434-07:00The waiting gameMy choice at this moment<br />
is to view myself as waiting.<br />
or<br />
to view myself as there.<br />
<br />
<br />
Am I waiting for something better?<br />
Am I where I should be?<br />
<br />
While the answer changes<br />
based on the day,<br />
the essence of the answer<br />
has to be found<br />
within the contentment<br />
of the moment!<br />
<br />
Maybe I hope that one day<br />
things will look a little different..<br />
but if this is it,<br />
This is not a bad place to be!<br />
<br />
Friends, family, children..<br />
weekends aways..<br />
girls nights outs-<br />
a job I love,<br />
a church I enjoy.<br />
hobbies that distract me<br />
and friendships that fulfill me!<br />
Family that accepts me<br />
and children that remind me,<br />
why every breath I take counts!<br />
and above all a Lord that sustains me.<br />
<br />
Life could be MORE..<br />
but it could be LESS,<br />
so in this moment-<br />
it is just RIGHT!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-15721306844249355512012-09-19T19:25:00.002-07:002012-09-19T19:25:33.650-07:00I'm BAAACK!:)I left blogging<br />
believing that life <br />
had reached the end of a season,<br />
who knew that<br />
this stage of my life<br />
travels in circles.<br />
<br />
content alone,<br />
unhappy without,<br />
ready for more,<br />
not ready at all...<br />
<br />
Like a merry go round!<br />
<br />
As I look at what it all means..<br />
why it all happens..<br />
where I am<br />
and where I want to be,<br />
I realize that<br />
it comes down to one thing;<br />
me!<br />
<br />
Am I where I want to be?<br />
Am I as strong as I need to become?<br />
have I learned how to be enough alone<br />
or am I sure that I will be more than enough<br />
with another?<br />
<br />
and so the journey continues.<br />
and I am quite sure<br />
that its time to put it in words...<br />
<br />
and so it goes.<br />
and so it goes.Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-70619780803967682762012-09-11T19:48:00.000-07:002012-09-11T19:52:17.626-07:00not THAT ready...so for almost 10 months<br />
for reasons of my own..<br />
I have not been on any 'dates'<br />
(fix-ups,blind dates,ect)<br />
<br />
so I finally decided it was time.<br />
to say yes to a date...<br />
so I did.<br />
<br />
It was not awful!<br />
but, it was not good...<br />
it felt like hard work! <br />
<br />
and I once again know<br />
I am ready!<br />
but not ready at all costs..<br />
not ready for readiness sake..<br />
I am ready for right!<br />
<br />
I am happy with my life..<br />
and what I hope for<br />
will only be found<br />
in the arms of the right person! <br />
<br />
I can find companionship<br />
with my friends..<br />
and I do!<br />
I can find happiness<br />
with my kids...<br />
and I do!<br />
I can find fulfillment<br />
in my work....<br />
and I do! <br />
<br />
so..ready...<br />
but not THAT ready! <br />
<br />Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-69546745128050482442012-03-25T18:50:00.004-07:002012-03-25T19:18:38.398-07:00I think its time to say goodbye...Time to move on...<br /><br />It hard to believe that<br />my single again..<br />rebound brokenness..<br />began ALMOST 3 1/2 years ago.<br />This blog was started over<br />3 years ago.<br /><br />My dad often says<br />'to everything there is a season'<br />and I feel like this season<br />for me,<br />is done!<br /><br />No, I am not involved with anyone!<br />Yes, I am still very single!<br /><br />BUT..<br />the journey seems to have<br />reached an end.<br />At least this part of it...<br />I seem to have settled in the place<br />I am.<br />Where I began<br />is so different then where I am now.<br /><br />I was broken,<br />now I am whole.<br />I had lost my identity,<br />now I am sure of who I am.<br />I was willing to compromise<br />now I stand strong!<br />I was unsure if I could be alone.<br />now I know I can!<br />I did not know if I ever wanted love again,<br />now I am sure that I do!<br /><br />I do not know what the future holds..<br />If I am meant to be single<br />I know that I will be OK!<br />But, what I am able to acknowledge now<br />is that I hope to find love and goodness and forever.<br /><br />I have taken this last year<br />and taken some chances,<br />some dead ends<br />and some wrong turns!<br />I have learned that dating can be tough,<br />and that sometimes<br />just waiting is better!<br />I have learned that friendships<br />are invaluable!<br />I have learned that family time<br />matters!<br />That teaching my children<br />to be happy with less<br />is a lesson worth learning!!<br />That even with less we can do more<br />then we imagined!!<br />I have learned to co-parent with grace,<br />a lesson that has been learned<br />by both parents involved!<br />I have learned how to navigate<br />the single life<br />without compromising being a mom<br />first and foremost!<br />I have learned to ask for help..<br />and to become as self sufficient as I can.<br /><br />I have learned so much<br />that I would not have learned<br />without purpose!<br />and much I could have lived without<br />learning at all...<br /><br />My blog has been my therapy..<br />but as life has settled so have my posts!<br />And now, I think<br />that its time to let go of the blog...<br />not close it!<br />but, keep it to look back on..<br />while hoping that if down the road;<br />I ever post again-<br />it will be not so single..<br />in a world not quite as complicated!!:)Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-77201485082463549782012-03-11T18:37:00.012-07:002012-03-11T19:40:41.040-07:00What I want..and what I hope to be...I wrote the "WHAT A GIRL WANTS" list July 2011<br />Tonight I wrote <span style="font-style: italic;">What a girl wants to be</span>!<br />The more I heal<br />the more I see<br />not only what I am looking for-<br />but, what I am looking to be<br />in return!<a name="5563651895474711726"></a> <h3 class="post-title entry-title"> What a girl wants..<br /></h3><p>...and <span style="font-style: italic;">What a girl wants to be!</span><br /></p> <div class="post-header"> </div> So here is my list;<br /><br />1) a man that shares my faith<br /><br />2)a man that has kids or completely respects that I do, and understands all that entails.<br /><br />3)a man with a stable and rewarding job<br /><br />4)a man who makes me smile!<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I will do my part to keep him laughing!</span><br /><br />5)a man that is flexible<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">life happens!</span><br /><br />6)a man that makes me feel valuable to him<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">He will never doubt his worth to me.</span><br /><br />7)a man that does not see the need to drink excessively.<br /><br />8)a man who watches his language around me.<br /><br />9)a man that makes me feel safe<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> he will feel safe and confident in who we are together,<br />and who he can be with me!</span><br /><br />10)a man who respects who I am, even if he does not share all my quirks<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">This goes both ways...</span><br /><br />11)a man who will communicate in good times and bad<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I will purpose to be open and not allow things to fester and build.</span><br /><br />12)a man I am attracted to<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and I will let him know this.</span><br /><br />13)a man that makes me feel attractive<br /><br />14)a man who knows who he is and is comfortable in his own skin.<br /><br />15)a man who accepts and understands the demands in my life,<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">as I will understand the demands in his, and do my part to add<br />to the positive not the stress.</span><br /><br />16)a man who embraces my love for my family.<br /><br />17)a man who encourages my time with friends.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">understanding the boundaries that keep the relationship first.</span><br /><br />18)a man who has his own healthy hobbies<br /><br />19)a man who smiles easily<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I will always smile back!</span><br /><br />20)a man who handles his stress appropriately.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I will find outlets for my stress that do not affect the </span><br style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">one I am with!</span><br /><br />21)a man who is respectful to those around him.<br /><br />22)a man who treats his mother kindly.<br /><br />23)a man who understands and accepts the role he will have with my kids,<br />not as a father, but as a respected man in their lives.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I accept and understand the role I will play with his.</span><br /><br />24)a man who likes being a man.<br /><br />25)a man who likes, or accepts with kindness, animals.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">at least most of them..:)</span><br /><br />26)a man who wants a balanced partnership<br /><br />27)a man who will allow me to talk things out when I feel hurt<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I will listen when he is hurt as well!</span><br /><br />28)a man who will not keep me guessing<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and vice versa!</span><br /><br />29)a man who will be faithful<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I will be faithful ,loyal and true!</span><br /><br />30)a man who will enhance my life emotionally,<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and allow me to do the same for him.<br /><br /><br />The man I am looking for may not be all of these things,<br />but he will be more of them than he is not!<br />Some are deal breakers,<br />some are not..<br />but all help me to define<br />what I hope to have,<br />what I hope to be,<br />what...<br />I hope to find!<br /></span>Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014880043626797980.post-38671889680437379542012-02-29T19:19:00.003-08:002012-02-29T19:33:12.329-08:00dating..or lack of it...So I gave up on line dating..<br />it works...<br />for some!<br />It certainly<br />kept me busy...<br />dinners out; here and there!<br />but, ultimately..<br />the investment of time-<br />the lack of true<br />'connections'...<br />the exhausting process<br />of starting from scratch-<br />just did me in!<br /><br />And so..<br />for the last several months<br />I have been dateless!<br />and some times<br />I miss the hope!<br />And always<br />I yearn for the possibility...<br />but mostly<br />I accept where I am.<br /><br />Whenever I wonder..<br />if maybe,<br />I should actually look harder..<br />should get out more..<br />reconsider my options-<br />lower my expectations...<br />I remember<br />that settling for less<br />than is right for me,<br />is not an option!<br /><br />and so..<br />I keep on<br />keeping on!<br />Living single..<br />enjoying life..<br />not waiting for the next stage-<br />just wondering<br />what might possibly<br />be waiting for me!Debbiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17680221201312100448noreply@blogger.com3