You know you need to get out more when....

your 3rd grade daughter says that a fellow classmate of hers, a boy she would not name,
said 'you (her mother) are hot!! '
and you say..........
" really?? who?? what did they say??"...
can you say GET A LIFE!! :)
ha ha!!

The funniest part is the response of my 3rd grader , to this un-named boy:
" you have got to be kidding me!!"...
boy, did that bring me down a few pegs!!!
She went on to tell me how she said to this boy who shan't be named..
"ooohhh ... you said my mother is hot and she is like THIRTY FIVE".
ok..so now I wish she had just kept the story to herself!! ;)

Actually the whole thing made me laugh..the joys of kids...and the memories being made that will never be forgotten!! ......

Altho, since I am , like, 'THIRTY FIVE' memory loss might actually be just around the corner.....

strange side effect of being single..

I was having drinks with a friend tonight...
rehashing the whole sordid story..
(we have been out of touch for , um, like 3 years..)
Anyway, i remembered something I promised myself I would never forget.
It was something i did not expect and was completely unprepared for
when finding myself single first go round...

and that was..
the way my 'married' friends treated me around their husbands.
As if..all of a sudden I would become a flirty, loose, throw myself at any breathing man; woman...
now, that i was no longer married!

If I wasn't so offended I would have laughed
and now I am not so offended so I do laugh.

I am not sure they meant to do it...
and certainly it was not all my friends...
but most certainly i was no longer ' as safe' as I was before....

Tonight i remembered and hope not to forget again...
because at the time I thought
" why didn't anyone warn me?"

I have always wondered if I had known more of what to expect..
would I have been better prepared?
or when you are thrown for a loop do you throw the manual out anyway??

I might never know for me...
but at least i might remember in case anyone ever asks.....

punched in the gut..

really it came out of nowhere...
today was not a good day....
and I so did not see it coming.

I have expressed alot about my first marraige..almost 15 years...3 kids...
devastating...

But there was another.
This one was MUCH shorter...
and this one I ran from...

so many days I feel the relief...
we were toxic to eachother,
I caused reactions that were hurtful and unfair
by the very action of being me....
sad but true..
incompatability in its most dangerous and volitaile form...
and I had to flee.

today, for the first time...
I was struck by the memories of when I did not know..
when I did not know what was to come...
when I did not know that we would be a deadly poison to eachother
when I believed ....
When i thought it would be OK...

That memory hit hard,
the memory of a moment when this person embodied all I hoped
he would be
and represented all I believed our future would hold.

My heart is broken...
not by a person
but by a dream
that will never be....
but seemed, for a moment, so real...