My first complete love..

My son,
My first born...
the First love I had
that was based on nothing
but the moment of your entering the world.

I loved you from the moment I knew you were coming,
and when you breathed your first breath
you made me who I was always meant to be;
a mother.

My love..
I am so proud of who you are.
I am proud of your convictions..
the very things that make you stubborn
and impossible to sway,
also make you a young man of character
and integrity.

My first born,
before you,
there was me
waiting for you.
I knew my calling was to be a woman
who loved her children with her whole being.
When you arrived,
the pinnacle of my deepest desire was achieved.
There has never been a moment
I have regreted my calling
or wished for a different lot in life.

I wish I could give more,
be more,
do more.
I know you have been hurt by life,
I know you world was turned upside down.
I would give my very breath
to change that!
I cannot...
I can only let you know
that I am here.
I am human,
I am fallable,
I will let you down..
but, I will never stop loving you.
I will always accept you for who you are;
My out of sync YET
beautifully in tune child.

My heart beat is yours,
and as this next season of life knocks on our door..
life might change a bit,
sometimes you might wish I handled things differently,
sometimes I might feel the same about you!

BUT, my son..
I am learning too.
I am growing beside you,
guiding you
while letting the Lord guide me.

If love is enough
you have a lifetime of love stored in my heart.
If belief is enough
you can change the world.
If hope is enough
you shall move mountains.
If my pride in you makes a difference
Then son, there is no door not open to you.
ALL these things and more
are stored within my heart
and belong to you.

You are unique
and You are meant to do great things..
You are meant to be exactly where you are
and You alone are made for a purpose only God knows.

I am here to watch, and pray..
encourage..and once in a while to catch you when you stumble.

My hand is always reaching,
My heart forever open.
I love you-
Happy 13th Birthday.