Jumbled emotions..

I took the kids for a day trip yesterday!
We had a blast!
It was impromptu..
and something they have been asking to do!
It happened to be a place that holds
many memories...

one memory was a family vacation several years ago-
the other an anniversary trip.
Ironically the kids seem to have blocked
many memories pre divorce.
I am not quite so lucky!

So, being there was great and fun..
and a teensy sad and surreal!

And yet..
I cannot help it!
WHEN I am with my kids...
providing..
arriving at our destination,
finding my way in new cities;
and to new attractions and destinations.
When I hand them the money
for icees or souvenirs;
The prevailing feeling:
I DID this!!
I worked for this!
I managed this!
I CAN do this!!

Days like that are rare
and hard to come by...
weeks of work
to allow a few extras.
But, the memories
will last...
and the family time
and the talking..
and even the lectures I handed out
here and there!
Made every moment of sacrifice worthwhile.

And the lessons My children are learning,
as they watch me struggle and persevere.
As they live the sacrifice,
as they see and understand what it takes
to make memories happen!
Life is not free
and no one hands you your destination
on a silver platter...
BUT LIFE is what you create it to be.
IT is how you face your circumstances
and your fears!
LIFE is not about your situation
or failures and success..
life is how you live the moments in between!