Parenting pitfalls single..

OK !Thats a mouthful!
BUT, I find single parenting exhausting..
and yes this has surprised me!
Heres why..
I was a stay at home, home schooling mom
for 11 years.
I was pretty much it when it came to
rules, enforcement, schooling, ect..
their dad was often gone..
sometimes school...
sometimes work..
sometimes play...
but often gone!
I sometimes felt single married..
and yet...its different!

then yesterday I got it!
ONE of those 'aha' moments!
When it is just you..
just one...
your kids know you.
They know your weakness..
your buttons..
your inconsistancies..
your empty threats.
They know your threshhold..
and so, as yours is the only threshhold
that now comes into play..
you are always being pushed there!
When there is another body in the home..
their threshhold is different..
and probably on different things!
So some things are moot and you are never
even close to your threshhold
and the other 'adult' already hit theirs..
and your kids know it!
some things are balanced
and your children are thrown off
just a bit
as to who might be pushed too far..
because there are 2 grown ups to figure out!

But one??
easy for them to divide and conquer!
and so they know..
how far is too far,
but they will meet you at that line
each and every time..
and I only just got this!

I have a game plan:)
I have not surrendered...
and I understand that life..
parenting...
is about growing with your circumstances..
my children have changed...
I must change to meet the circumstances.
I must become what they need
and find the solid footing
that I need...

and I must learn to say what I say..
mean what I mean..
because they smell my weakness
and go for the kill....

ok..slightly dramatic! LOL!!
its tough tho...