Whose to blame....

so a comment
from 'he who
was afraid to be named'..
got me thinking!

Do I blame the men
who have hurt me?
Do I hold them responsible
for my life?

loaded question.
to start;
I like my life!
It was not what I
dreamt
of..
nor, is it always picture perfect,
but I am very content!
I work hard
at all my roles...
and I am thankful
for the life I lead.

So, are they..
these men,
responsible?
yes and no..
without knowing them,
I am sure my path would
be different!
They have helped to shape
me...good and bad!

Do I blame them?
not really!
My first husband..
I understand
and believe that it takes
two people to end a marriage!
How you get there,
and the choices you make
in the process are individual..
but the marriage is between
both...
and the end,
belongs to each.
I know there were things
in my marriage,
that were not
the way my ex would want!
I lived the role
I believed in,
but not the one he desired.
I have owned that!
I have sought his forgiveness
for not hearing him..
or understanding his frustrations.
Did he hurt me?
yes. He really did.
Do I carry blame?
No!
I think him and I
have forgiven each other
for not being perfect..
and for not being ideal partners!

as for the other..
The one I left...
or fled..
do I blame?
a little!
and yet,
I hold myself
responsible
for making very poor choices.
I was mislead and
manipulated.
BUT, if I had been healthier,
taken longer to heal,
been further along in the process,
I would not have fallen
for the deception!
Therefore, I own that too!

So, in truth..
I remember realistically!
I own my part!
I acknowledge my role.
I place ownership back
where it belongs, in areas
I could not control..
and I learn!!

Blame is useless..
reflection invaluable!!