Harder still..

It is  not often that the past is on my mind..
I have healed from even the worst,
and have learned the lessons well.

but once in a while...

Lately at work I have been tired!
I even uttered the phrase;
"Hardest I have ever worked in my life"..

and then I remembered...

A time in my life when I was woken before the sun,
and my morning started at a run.
sitting was not an option..not for leisure!
There was a large house to clean spotlessly,
an office to manage,
Children to homeschool.
errands to run,
meals to cook,
swim lessons to teach,
boxes to carry,
lists to follow,
schedules to keep!

After all;
I had to earn my keep!

Not to mention:
there were verbal bullets to dodge,
and refuge from deep hurt to seek!

My day began early!
It ended late!

A real life cinderalla..
with no hope of a prince!

I was SO tired!
I remember 
KNOWING
that I would probably never work
so hard again !
I knew then..
that come what may...
No matter what was to come
as a single mom....
I had faced the worst!!

And yet,
I forget!

The memories fade..
The pain is lost...
The fabric of the experience
woven deep within my mind!

Until now:
when I need the memory,
when I need to draw on my past!

That is why we learn the lessons!
So that when we feel we cannot go on,
when we are weary-
when hope feels far away;
we can draw from what 'was'
and be reminded that it shall
never 'be' again..
and our strength from 'then'
provides the very needed
'push' for now.

Lessons well learned
become strength in reserve!