Middle Ground

moving fast...
moving slow...
one too much!
one not enough!

The need so strong,
the hope so great..
the longing for time so evident,
the excitement so new.

It would be tempting
to turn my back on the world...
to create a private cave
with access for two...
it would be easy to jump without looking;
no life jacket,
no treading.
just a dive into the deep.

It would be easy!
but, truly would it be right?
would it be best?
would it smart?

The truth is..
I don't know!
and I will never know..

we might be
strong enough
to sustain speeds
beyond human perception..
or the fast track might derail us before
we reach the station!

Our reality does not allow
the experiment!
Kids, work, distance, family, friends,...
L.I.F.E.

And so..
for the sake of sanity,
we do not travel the fast track,
but nor do we take the slowest route.
We shall strive to find the middle ground.
The path that takes us where we are going
and lets us arrive there
exactly when we are due!

We will  travel over speed bumps..
And some miles, we can set the cruise control.
However, there will also be glorious opportunities
when we can just hit the gas
and go....

Sometimes our journey
will take us over rocks,
and sometimes through tunnels.
Sometimes the sun will shine down,
and sometimes the darkness will make
us feel might we might loose our way.
Sometimes the sound of rain on the rooftop
will sustain us,
and sometimes the soft breeze
will gently buffer us as we go...
Always we shall move forward;
one inch, one moment, one mile...

No matter the weather,
the road conditions
or the toll....
I shall keep in mind
the destination.
And above all,
I shall enjoy every moment
of the amazing journey I am on!

fearless...

Fearless in love,
what does that mean...
how does that look?

The last time I was fearless..
I was seventeen.
16 years later
I had to reevaluate if my lack of fear
had paid off.
What I knew
is that now fear of being hurt
must be my friend;
and partner!

And yet still..
despite caution
I found myself trapped..
cornered...
panting for air..
desperate to run...
crying for escape.

hunted.
shaking.
hidden.
searching.
hurt.
scared.
haunted.
secluded.

fear was no longer a choice.
fear was demanded by the lifeline
of my very being.
fear became the casing wrapped around my heart!
fear became the mantra of my soul.
fear became my battle cry.
the blood pumping through my heart
whispered 'be cautious' as it flowed.
the rhythm of my heart,
beat to the timing
of a warrior chant.

fear was my saving grace...
protecting me from what was.
but also keeping me from what might be...

Until I fell in love.
Now fear has turned a corner.
No longer do I fear a forever..
or a deception.
or that I am missing a puzzle piece.

Instead I fear a lifetime of not taking a chance.
I fear missing moments that I might never get back.
I fear living without truly living at all.
GREATER then my fear of getting my heart broken..
is my fear of not letting my heart
know true wholeness and complete love.
No longer is the scariest thing
the strength of my feelings...
and all that could go wrong;
but rather living a lifetime
never knowing what my heart
is truly capable of giving
and accepting in return.

And so..
I have begun to let the fear go..
I have stepped into the feelings and emotions
and let my heart soar.
I have stopped adding 'but' or 'if' or 'maybe'
to the end of my sentences....
I have opened my heart
and given completely of me.
I have decided to take the chance
that was handed to me..
and I have accepted the odds.

I am standing on the edge of the precipice
of fearlessness,
knowing as I dive off the cliff..
I will never look back.

A free fall
into a forever
that will never look the same again.

Falling never felt so good...

so it seems I have fallen in love...
not like,
or hope,
or possibility..
but love!
How do I know?
my heart beats,
my palms sweat..
I hear a love song and think:
yes! EXACTLY!
I think about this person ALL day long!
I miss him!
I look forward to talking to him!
I like him,
respect him,
admire him.
He is the one I want to tell things too..
and hear things from!
He is my 'now'.

Its not been that long..
and its seemed to happen fast!
and yet, I realize
that for the first time
I was 'free' to fall!
I had no misgivings holding me back,
and he held no walls that kept me at bay.
And so..
for the first time since I was 17..
I feel 17 again!

Falling, however, is the easy part!
The part that counts is the staying,...
the holding pattern that occurs
when being in love becomes staying in love.
When new love becomes tried and tested.
When you've held hands and faced the world.

That happens in time.
That happens with purpose!
And the outcome of that
determines the future
and the possibility of forever.

But, speaking from experience;
new love..
is beautiful,
amazing..
to be cherished and enjoyed!
Old love is to be hoped for,
sought after,
and treasured for a lifetime.

Which this shall be..
time will tell..
but, here's to wishing for both!