Saturday, October 8, 2011

what a month...

October is a month of milestones
for me...
its started with my birthday on the 2nd.

October 5th was the 5 year
anniversary of my divorce.
(is that even what you call it?)

2 days later..
October 7th
marks 4 years ago
that I married a man
I had known only 8 months...

And then this weekend..
I am celebrating
my 20th reunion from high school!

Milestones in my life..
that make me who I am today!

Being at my the first leg of my reunion
was bitter sweet!
10 years ago
I was there
married and pregnant
with my 3rd child.
I was a stay at home mom
and secure in all ways.

I am single..
a mother of a teenager-
and 2 might as well be teenage gals
I work full time..
and live month to month..

I am happier now..
more sure of who I am..
and yet-
still feel
on the edge.
Often in life I feel on the edge.
Not in a bad way..
just in an aware way.
I am quirky..
I get that!

but, for so many years
I did not know that..
I, instead,was my 'role'
not my 'person'!

And so..
I face this month
seeing how long a healthy divorce
and knowing we are there,
as far as I can tell.
I see how
I have forgiven myself
for misjudgements
that happened in the wake
of the hurt...
and I recognize
how much change has happened
in 20 years!

And that all in all..
it is Good!
and I would do it..
all over again!


  1. Wow. Well, happy to all of those milestones. Enjoy your reunion!

  2. Good for you! I hope I'm in a similar place when I hit 20 years post high school... just a few years now... as it stands today, if the invite came tomorrow, I wouldn't go... When I went to my 10 year, I had a 22 month-old and a 4 month-old at home and I, too, thought I was happy!

  3. October is "that" month to me...2 years ago October 9th, my ex filed for divorce. Soon after I started dating someone I really care about, but he recently broke up with me because I am still in an incomplete phase of my life. I remain broken, and I'm trying to pick up the pieces. I have a beautiful almost 3 year old daughter, so I can completely relate to the single mom role, who is also a sister, a mother, a friend, an ex wife LOL! I'm working on me right now, and trying to find the me that I know I am meant to be. I know fear holds me back because I am afraid of heartbreak again and of losing me again. I love your blog and found inspiration because I know I will be okay! :)