Sunday, March 27, 2011

Easy come..Easy go

Memories are an amazing thing..
sometimes they make us
sometimes they make us
and sometimes they just show us
how far we have come.

Leaving the YMCA after Zumba
this past Saturday...
I looked out at the soccer fields.
I had a 'moment'...
My heart skipped a beat.
Unlike many moons ago-
it did not stop beating all together-
it resumed its rhythm
and I began to think...

Over four years ago,
my son played soccer for the first time
and started when
my ex and I were married,
and by the time his season ended..
we were also done.

He played on those soccer fields..
the ones I was looking at!

The thing I remember the MOST
about that time,
is not the sadness..
that has passed.
nor the anger or hurt;
instead I remember
what it was like
to first navigate the waters
of co-parenting...
I remember being at games with
my ex..
no longer married-
still sitting together!
I remember sharing a picnic blanket
as we watched the game-
and you know what stands out??
I remember KNOWING what
he would want to drink-
I remember KNOWING what
he would like for a snack..
I remember KNOWING...
just knowing~

There was a time
I knew his food preferences
better then my own..
I would have to ask..
and NOW we could share a blanket-
and it would not be a minefield.
it is no longer raw..
it does not hurt like it once did!

And so as I remembered
that long ago soccer season,
and all the changes that it brought-
I was also able to see
that the foundation laid then,
is still in place today...
and the process begun
has been worth the fight...
and above all,
the woman who sat in pain
on that shared picnic blanket
several years ago..
now sits in strength and contentment!

are as much about the present
as they are about the past!!


  1. I love it. Love your reflections!

    Also, isn't it weird that you knew someone SO well and now you don't anymore? It's still strange to me...

  2. Oh thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I am so grateful that I found yours! A pleasure to "meet" another single mom! Your kids are beautiful.

  3. That was beautiful. I was actually thinking of something similar yesterday. I went to Home Depot to buy some stuff and there's an area that smells like fresh painting, fresh construction. It brought back memories of the house the exwife and I bought. The moment we walked in, we fell inlove with it. The fresh smell of the home, brand new, it was ours. I only lived there one year. I still feel that scent, it burns, it hurts and it saddens me more than ever when I feel it. As much as it's been 2 years that we split, I can't seem to realize this is already deep in the past.