The best day..

I had the best day with my kids on Saturday!!
really the best!!
So simple..
so fun!
Star wars event...at a library...
then lunch...
and then thanks to the blessing of a friend..
we stopped at an outlet center..
a touristy one..
fun stores..
and we did some back to school shopping!
We walked and laughed..
looked in stores...
shopped a little for needed things..
and then stopped in a little coffee shop..
a novelty coffee shop!
I got the kids their own chocolate bar (British chocolate, my favorite!)
and a soda in a bottle each!!!
They were so excited..
such a fun treat!!
and as we walked...
and enjoyed our time,
I realized I was REALLY enjoying my time!
NOT just being a 'good' mom...
but really happy to be with my kids..
not because they are my blood..
but because I like them, enjoy them, ....

I also see how light I feel these days..
how my sadness these last 3 years
has been like a coat I always wore..
invisible to others..
and so a part of me I hardly noticed it..
and all of a sudden its not there!!
I am no longer carrying the burden..

I am happy...
I am glad to be exactly where I am...
I love my kids...
I like my kids...
and days like this
my world is beyond complete..
days like this
are the very foundation of my existence!!
they make every hour worked...
every moment of stress...
every tear cried...
every word of anger expressed..
disappear
and instead whats left is the beautiful silence
of complete and utter
peace!

a picture worth a thousand words?

Diane at daines addled ramblings
posted a picture tonight
then shared why it was a favorite..
I have done the same...

My picture is a favorite
in a sad and surreal way..

It was a picture taken
easter of 2006...
at the time my life
was literally coming apart
at the seams...

but I did not yet know it...
The picture reminds me
of trust and hope..
the faith I had before I knew...
The innocence that since seems lost...
and yet in this moment..
all is pure and real..
love is a reality...
forever a promise...
and a family complete...

In the irony that came to be
The family is now complete...
still just us 4...
now with a broken promise
and love long gone..
but complete.

YET..... not as trusting..
not as innocent...
the children now older...
everything changed...
so the picture is sweet
in the remembrance
of the innocence of the past!