Taking life on....

For 19 years
I wanted to go
back to school..
but did not!
Why?
I did not have time!
I did not know if I
could handle
the work
after so long.
I had kids.
The list went on!

The irony,
is that now..
at a time
in my life
that I have the most
on my plate,
I am back in school!

And guess what?
I am doing great!
A in my first class!
(whoo hoo!)
enjoying
this new semester
taking 2 classes
rather then one!
Still working full time..
still raising
3 kids,
still being a taxi driver
to a teen
and 2 pre-teens,
still keeping the house
is some semblance
of order.

It makes me realize
that we , as humans,
are so much
more capable
then we give ourselves
credit for!
But, often
we do not find that out-
until we are pushed to
our limits
and come out still
kicking!

There is a lot
I wish
I had not
had to face,
these past 4 years!
But, the good
has been..
my understanding
of what must
be done!
and my determination
to do it,
against all odds!

As cliche as it all is,
I would rather be here
now,
knowing what I know now,
then back
in the past..
where I limited myself
by believing
there was so much
that I just could not
do!

reach for the stars..
and you might actually touch one!

Its a start...

So,
I'm defining my boundaries!

Not yet
my list of hopes
in a future date...
but my list of
what I shall accept and what
I shall not!

To start..
my Faith!
This is vital!
Someone
right for me,
will share my faith
in its entirety!
Maybe not the same
church,
or denomination!
But, the same Lord
and principles.
My faith defines me!
Its too big
of an area of my life
to NOT share with
another!
DEAL- breaker!

An unexpected boundary
is that I do not
want someone
who lives 'on-line'!
Ironic
as I spent lots
of time on FB!..
and blogging!
I do not
want that world invaded!
I do not want to
date someone
who becomes
on-line friends
with my friends
or my family.
I think FB creates an
unrealistic world,
and rushes the natural
order of things!
So, if I meet someone
who loves FB like I do..
they at least have
to accept
that those worlds
do not need
to collide
until the NATURAL
progression of time
brings them together!

And lastly
so far....
I do not want
to be aggressively pursued!
A man
who is willing
to be patient,
and understand my time
restrictions
is a must!
But, a man who believes
that persistence
is the key
WILL drive me away!
This is not true
for all woman!
And I did not think
this would be
true for me,
but time and time again
I am seeing
that it is!
I need space
and balance...
and the bubble
around me,
remains mine...
until
I invite someone in!

So for now..
I do not know
what I want..
but I know what I need!
I am coming to understand
who I am,
and what makes
me comfortable
and what drives me away!

We only learn
as we try!

So,
I am taking
each experience
learning the lesson..
and continuing
to move forward!

Single, complicated and seeking??

I started my New Years morning..
walking
and thinking..

I thought a lot
about what it is
to be single,..
and what it means
to be in a place
of being open
to meeting new people.

Of course,
there is the age old;
how? when? where?
but, bigger then that is;
who? & why?

I do not believe
I have an unrealistic
view
of what it should be.
I do want some sort
of spark..
but I do not want
love at first sight!
I want some romance
with a lot of practicality!

Ultimately
I want to meet someone
that I connect with,
am attracted too..
AND that I share similar
beliefs and values with..!
How hard is that??
ha!
seems maybe harder then I think!

While,
I have not really put
myself out there..
I am doing a lot
of thinking
about what that will
look like when I do!

What are my boundaries?
my deal breakers?
and so...
I shall be working through that
here..
in private
(hee hee!)
on my blog!

and then
watch out world!
or not!!:)