Acceptance...

I think in life,
we strive for contentment!
we want peace..
we long for wholeness!

we seek,
we look,
we travel,
we walk,
we long for..
and we crave.

But, maybe
we skip a step..
maybe...
before the contentment;
comes the acceptance!

What makes me content
is accepting
that where I am..
is where I am meant to be!

Maybe not yesterday...
maybe not tomorrow,
but today-
I am in the moment,
in which I belong!

Some of the biggest mistakes
I have made..
have been at times
in my life
that I sought to RIGHT
my wrong circumstances..
when I was SURE
that where I was,
could NOT be enough.

Some how...
some time..
in some moment-
I came to accept...
Where I am.
Who I am.
What my current place
in life is.
I accept the changes!
I accept the challenges!
I accept the NOW..
I accept!
and within the acceptance,
I found my peace
and my contenment!

Easy come..Easy go

Memories are an amazing thing..
sometimes they make us
smile..
sometimes they make us
cry...
and sometimes they just show us
how far we have come.

Leaving the YMCA after Zumba
this past Saturday...
I looked out at the soccer fields.
I had a 'moment'...
My heart skipped a beat.
Unlike many moons ago-
it did not stop beating all together-
instead,
it resumed its rhythm
and I began to think...

Over four years ago,
my son played soccer for the first time
and started when
my ex and I were married,
and by the time his season ended..
we were also done.

He played on those soccer fields..
the ones I was looking at!

The thing I remember the MOST
about that time,
is not the sadness..
that has passed.
nor the anger or hurt;
instead I remember
what it was like
to first navigate the waters
of co-parenting...
I remember being at games with
my ex..
no longer married-
still sitting together!
I remember sharing a picnic blanket
as we watched the game-
and you know what stands out??
I remember KNOWING what
he would want to drink-
I remember KNOWING what
he would like for a snack..
I remember KNOWING...
just knowing~

There was a time
I knew his food preferences
better then my own..
NOW?
I would have to ask..
and NOW we could share a blanket-
and it would not be a minefield.
it is no longer raw..
it does not hurt like it once did!

And so as I remembered
that long ago soccer season,
and all the changes that it brought-
I was also able to see
that the foundation laid then,
is still in place today...
and the process begun
has been worth the fight...
and above all,
the woman who sat in pain
on that shared picnic blanket
several years ago..
now sits in strength and contentment!

Memories
are as much about the present
as they are about the past!!

I admit...I chickened out...

So I had a blind date...
not the first,
nor the last...
but I backed out!
Not sure why..
dates are few and far between...
sometimes by choice,
sometimes by circumstance.
I know some nice men..
and I hang out with a few!
I have had a few (first) dates..
but, still
all this time later...
it seems like work!
why is that?
I guess,
when I am asked out
by someone
who meeting
for the first date;
does not feel
like work..
I shall consider it!
Until then,
I shall be content
without.
and within...
cause that's where it counts!!