Friday, June 24, 2011

The sounds of silence...

Tonight is the start of my weekend..
without the kids.

As I sit....
playing on Facebook..
watching the news..
feet on the coffee table...
dogs sleeping near by on the couch..

I feel relaxed.
I know I can sleep in...
I know that no-one
will need cough medicine,
or water,
in the middle of the night.

I am off duty.
I am enjoying the moment..

and then unbidden..
I remember,
I focus..
I understand...
This is not what being a
mom was meant to be!

I was meant to yearn
for nights out with friends!
I was meant to host weekly
and make weekly Saturday
morning breakfasts..
I was meant to make cliche
about sleeping when
the kids left home...
I was meant to feel cranky
that I was never in the house
I was meant to think about
'finding myself'
when my kids were grown
and gone.
I was meant to be on duty
ALL of the time...

I was not meant to
be here..
right now...
enjoying the sounds of silence..
while counting the cost
of the absence.

I take the moment...
because it is here;
it is mine!
But, sometimes,
all I want...
is to give it back!


  1. After raising my tribe, all I want is alone time. Enjoy it as much as you can.

  2. I surely understand these feelings!
    Hugging you

  3. I do miss my regular weekends, but when people comment on my not really ever getting time off, I always respond, "Well, I didn't have them intending to share them with someone I was no longer married to, so I really don't mind having them with me all the time!"

  4. when the sons were home all I wanted was a time without them. I cherished the all too few times that they weren't here. Mainly because it gave me 'me' time that was much needed. That me time recharged me so that I was ready to deal with life with the sons.
    Enjoy your me time.