Sunday, June 19, 2011

A holiday that no longer hurts....

It is fathers day!
A day that has been bittersweet...
the sweet comes from my father
I love dearly!!
the bitter from the hurt
from the loss of the father
of my own kids..
the loss to me,
not them!

this year..
I realize
that even in this last year
so much has changed!
Last year I felt sad as the day approached...
this year?

It seems the more time
that passes,
the more I reconcile...
not just my marriage,
but who I was
and was not within it..
the more I understand
that where I am now,
is where I want to be!
The more I am able
to separate the father in my
children's life..
from the man
that was in mine...

so today..
I shall help my children
cook their father dinner!
I shall set an example
of honor..
I shall help them celebrate
and cherish their dad.
They will serve him dinner
within their home,
while I run off to coffee..
they shall love,
as always,

And for the first time...
I feel free
to honor and respect
the role;
their father plays..
the tinge of hurt attached!

It takes time...
but, it happens!


  1. Good for you Debbie, this is not only the right thing to do but also the healthy way to feel. God Bless you.....:-)Hugs

  2. What a wonderful thing to do for them and him! Hope it all turns out wonderfully, since you just 'love' to cook! ;o)

  3. bwhahaha Mamma has spoken..this is true..this could actually be a passive aggresive act of ill I am using the ONE tried and true recipe I know!!!:-)!!

  4. Very mature and respectful of you. After almost 10 years, I still can't do that for the father of my children. Maybe I need to grow up and take a page from your book...or in this case, blog.

  5. sandra- each situation is different! While my divorce was very ex and I have stayed on good terms and he has always been a good dad. That makes a difference!

  6. you are a big person to do that for him. kudos for moving along!

  7. Good for you! Father's Day is usually just another day here, but this year, I found myself missing MY DAD and family, who were all celebrating together up north, so I made a big ol' pot of homemade meatballs and sauce like my Grammy used to make... not ideal on a 95 degree day, but it made me feel better! :)

  8. and you didnt even put a laxative in the food? haha kidding...What a nice way to help the kids celebrate. Strong woman you are