Practice for the real thing...

I always thought
that the time I have taken
to be alone,
was just to learn how
to 'not need a relationship',
but it turns out
it has taught me so much more.

As I enter into a stage
of my life,
in which my time
is beyond strained;
I now know
that I was learning
how to balance
and how to deny
my 'wants'
for my 'musts'.

I am in a stage of my life
that requires
hours a night
of homework and reading.
a stage which
calls for concentrated time
to study.
I need to 'be'
not 'do'.

Several years ago,
I stayed busy whenever I was
alone.
I went places,
and bought things..
and visited people.
I did not spend my alone
time at home.
I spent it keeping
my mind off the fact
that I was , in fact, alone.
Then about a year ago...
I had no car
for 5 weeks.
My weekends alone
were spent at home.
I had no choice.
It changed me!

I learned that I could
spend an entire weekend
within the walls
of my home,
and be OK!

In time,
I began to balance it;
I spent time with friends
and spent some time
being busy
and some time being alone.

The lesson was invaluable.

Now, to succeed at school,
my weekends
can not be filled with 'stuff to do'.
I have room for
some time 'out'..
but I have to allow
room
for lots of time 'in'.
I am so grateful
that I already know
how to do this part!
That the hard work is already
done.

and I am surprised to learn,
that the lesson of being
content alone
affects so many more
aspects of our lives;
then we can even imagine!