Friday, October 9, 2009

one of those moments,....

Most moments these days
are busy
or happy
or stressed
or tense
or joyful
but rarely sad!
It took about 9 months for the lonely feelings to go..
but I remember them well!
I remember the sadness I felt on Sundays alone..
or Friday nights with no plans..
the times in the car with no one to call..
and the gap I felt in my heart!
Then I just did not feel that any more!
no big moment..
just a realization that I was not lonely anymore!
A lot has changed...
my work is fulfilling...
it is also busy...
and once I added school...
My schedule is full!
I need my down time...
and don't find it empty any more!
I have become involved in a church
and made some new friends..
as well as keeping up with some old..
my friendships are rich and fulfilling...
Also, I have settled in my role as a single mom..
I am comfortable..
and HAPPY in that aspect of my life...
sometimes stressed and tired!
But, no longer reluctant to embrace what is!
all this , for the most part, eliminates loneliness..
so I was surprised today
to feel sadness
during what seemed like the most mundane thing!
I was running errands on my lunch break..
I ran into the post office.,
and when I walked out
the memories flooded...
the life I used to lead..
the one in which running errands was the norm;
not the exception I now fit in when I have no more choices....
the life that was filled with the mundane at times..
the life that brought me joy..
so for a moment
in a mundane moment
running a mundane errand
I mourned what was..
and felt the sadness at all that has changed!
It happens..
but it passes!
Thats where the hope lies..
not in a forever numbness
but in the times that you feel the pain..
but know it will not last ..
it is but a moment in the rest of your life!

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