Saturday, June 26, 2010

Darn pity party...

I seem to be having one at the moment..
as my blog conveys
I tend to live in a pretty happy world.
Life is HARD!
Life has HURT!
BUT, I am content with where I ended up
and probably more importantly,
who I ended up
through all this!

But, once in a while...
I still hurt!
There are several things hurting my heart.
all will probably require different posts!

The first is a little bit of loneliness.
Normal..but yuck!
The second is a friendship
I lost a while ago
that is at the surface right now;
In addition my oldest
is at camp for 8 days
and I miss him.

and the last...

My ex husband is having a family reunion
this weekend.
Every 2 years for many , many years
this was a part of our summer!
My kids went this year.
I still keep in touch with several
of my now 'out' laws...
and I guess the reality
of what divorce is,
is hitting me a bit!

Its a divorce from more then one person.
It cuts you off from people and events
that have been part of your life!

In addition..
This year would be the year
I would be comfortable being there..
and the first family event
he did not invite me too!

I get this,
his relationship is serious
and as much as we all get along;
I can see where that might not be comfortable
for her..or even him!

BUT, its just hit this tiny little nerve
that is still open and raw in my heart!
as all things this shall pass!
as all hurts it will go away!
and as all trials,
2 years from now
this event will not hurt as much
as it does this year!

The power of healing..
each steps takes you one step away from the rawness
and one step closer to being whole!


  1. Just catching up so I read through the last several posts. I'm not sure acknowledging your feelings is a pity party. Life is hard - there's no getting around it. I found one of the most difficult things about my own divorce was the loss of some of the friendships that went with the marriage. And as for dating - there are compromises you can make and others you cannot. You have to stay true to yourself and hold the line on the issues you feel are important. (For me, for instance, I've let go of the idea that I will be able to find many or possibly any men who follow a pesca-vegetarian diet but I need some basic overlap on world view and I require kindness and fidelity. I'd rather have no one that sacrifice those things.

  2. There is a lot going on for you at the moment, there is always a lot of reality in your posts and I really admire that you constantly find a positive side to whatever you're experiencing.

    Wishing you big huge steps away from the rawness.

  3. You are dealing with everything so well these days. I see such health in your words.