a laugh that is a window to my soul...

I had lunch with a friend yesterday..
we go way back!
We have known each other for just about 5 years..
BUT alot has happened in that 5 years!

when we first met
I was trying to find my way
as a wife and a mother..
wanting to do my best!
Give my all!
Struggling to find my footing..
and in knowing what that should look like.

Then CRASH!
The storm of the century hit my world,
tearing apart my family,
flattening my marriage,
collapsing my heart.
She was there watching,
and listening!

Then I moved into the next stage of my life,
one that proved to be even more
devastating and destructive.
The power of poison through the tongue
straight to my soul..
the damage measurable as each day passed.
She saw this too...from afar!

I returned 'home' damaged and broken.
Devastated and displaced.
How could I trust?
What would I do?
Where would I go?

She, like many around me..
watched me take on the past!
One issue and heart break at a time!
I faced aspects of my life that were not pretty,
and aspects that where so unbelievably sad.
I faced the part I had played,
and the hurts I had allowed.
I began to understand who I was
under the roles I had led,
I slowly grew comfortable in my own skin
and took ownership of my heart and life!!
I did this , not alone,
but hand in hand with my Lord.

I went from brittle to strong.
I went from insecure to comfortable.
I went from unsure to confident.
I went from hopeless to humble.
I grew!
I changed!
I stumbled..
and daily I still learn lessons about the heart..
and the emotions that drive us!

After lunch
she shared..
that she could see the health in who I am.
The visible difference.
She said I laughed at one point,
and it was a snapshot in time..
it was so whole and healthy and real.
and its so true!

I was not always here...
and I went through a lot to get where I am!
I remember the woman I was,
and I am grateful for the woman who stands in her place.

Our trials hurt...
They stretch us,
and sometimes take us to the brink of no return!
but, when we face them
and grow from them..
we come out on the other side;
not just different...BUT better!
not just stronger...BUT whole!
not just healthy....BUT wiser!
When all is said and done
some times
the lesson learned,
becomes the silver lining in the clouds of gray!