emotionally this week I am shot..
counting this week,
2 more weeks of work.
Then the school I love closes.
This makes a tough enviroment for all..
Sadness, lethargy, worries, stress all abound
among co-workers,parents and kids..!
This has carried over into my heart and home,
I feel like I am walking under water.
I just need to some how get my head out
and get a breath!!
I face it quietly.
I express the stress ,
and I deal with the here and now,
but there is a silence in my sorrow.
A muteness in my heart.
A friend shared with me today
that when she speaks to her husband,
he tells her how much he loves her!
He is on her side.
He is her greatest advocate.
I have seen it!
Why does that hurt my heart?
Someone to listen?
Someone to HEAR!
Someone who might wonder through out the day
how its going with ME!
I have almost begun to forget what that feels like...
and some times I wonder if I have ever really known.
How can you miss something
you do not even know if you had?
But, this week...
I face the chaos,
and the sadness,
and the 'end' of what was
without 'sureness' of what shall be;
and I miss not what I had..
but what I hope to have, one day, instead!
as I face yet another struggle..
and I climb yet another hill..
maybe all I miss is a solid path.
And that in and of itself is an illusion.
BUT in the end,
another opportunity to be more then I expect,
and overcome more then I believe possible.
that will lead me to a place
where I shall stop, and rest and reflect,
And I hope what I see is;
strength with tears,
peace with purpose,
achievement with flaws,
openess with hurts.
I hope to see the person I am;
flaws, failures, fears AND all,
still walking foreward....
and most of all STILL believing
in the power of what can be
versus the hurtful presence of what never was!