Thursday, June 3, 2010 we are again...

This has been one of those weeks.
emotionally this week I am shot..

counting this week,
2 more weeks of work.
Then the school I love closes.
This makes a tough enviroment for all..
Sadness, lethargy, worries, stress all abound
among co-workers,parents and kids..!

This has carried over into my heart and home,
I feel like I am walking under water.
I just need to some how get my head out
and get a breath!!

I face it quietly.
I express the stress ,
and I deal with the here and now,
but there is a silence in my sorrow.
A muteness in my heart.

A friend shared with me today
that when she speaks to her husband,
he tells her how much he loves her!
He is on her side.
He is her greatest advocate.
I have seen it!
It's real!
Why does that hurt my heart?

Someone to listen?
Someone to HEAR!
Someone who might wonder through out the day
how its going with ME!
I have almost begun to forget what that feels like...
and some times I wonder if I have ever really known.
How can you miss something
you do not even know if you had?

But, this week...
I do.
I face the chaos,
and the sadness,
and the 'end' of what was
without 'sureness' of what shall be;
and I miss not what I had..
but what I hope to have, one day, instead!

Then again,
as I face yet another struggle..
and I climb yet another hill..
maybe all I miss is a solid path.
And that in and of itself is an illusion.

Another week,
another battle.
BUT in the end,
another lesson..
another opportunity to be more then I expect,
and overcome more then I believe possible.

another road,
that will lead me to a place
where I shall stop, and rest and reflect,
And I hope what I see is;
strength with tears,
peace with purpose,
achievement with flaws,
openess with hurts.

I hope to see the person I am;
flaws, failures, fears AND all,
still walking foreward....
still traveling...
still Hopeing..
and most of all STILL believing
in the power of what can be
versus the hurtful presence of what never was!


  1. Seems like you just get over one thing & find there is another problem waiting.
    Thats how it goes sometimes.
    Hope something else comes along.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  2. I hope you see that person that you are right now and that she is walking forward, head held high!!
    Knowing there is a better you couldn't even imagine...and it is all in His hands.
    Hugging and praying

  3. I know all will be well, it will work out my friend, it always does......stay strong and positive.....:-) Hugs

  4. You pulled this straight out of my head and heart. Everything. It has to get better, though, right? Right?! :) XO

  5. Just never forget...always remember...God is faithful. He really is...everything in His own time.
    I’ve enjoyed looking over your blog. I came across it through another blog I follow, and I’m glad I did. I am now a follower of yours as well. Feel free to look over my blog and perhaps become one as well.

  6. I am glad to of found your blog. I am your newest follower. I am visiting you from friendly friday :)

    Please follow me back...

  7. Very poignant post! I'm a teacher, too and would be very sad if my school was closing. Your kids are darling!

    Happy Friendly Friday. I'll continue looking around!

  8. This post reminds me of the Sara Bareilles song: "Head under water and they tell me to breathe easy for a while. But breathing gets harder, even I know that." It's kind of a theme song for me.

  9. Thank you so much for coming by my blog today and taking the time to comment! I'm following you now and can't wait to begin reading!

  10. Oh, Debbie, I feel for you. Your pain is my pain. I've felt those same feelings. But what I keep telling myself is....God is enough. It doesn't help for me to put my focus on dreams of one day being married and having what I lacked before. I know for sure, I never had anyone who truly cared about "ME" in the way that you describe. So, in a way, I've grieved that loss for years, before my divorce. I think it's best to live life depending on God to fill that void that you're feeling. I know that's easier said than done. It is a constant battle for me. But the fact is, you need to get to a point where you don't feel that "NEED" anymore. It is important to feel whole all by yourself.

    You are a strong single woman. Who says you need anyone else to make you complete? God will always care how you're doing. He is always there when you need to talk. He will never betray or leave you. Men will disappoint you over and over again.

    I know this is a down time for you. I also know, you will come out of it, hopefully soon. I think the reason you are feeling this void now is that all of a suddon, that in which you define yourself (your job) was taken from you. You've lost that security. In a way, you are forced to take a step back. You fill that void, and I believe you will feel more complete again. I am praying that you will find a new job soon. I am praying for a fabulous summer with your beautiful children. Enjoy them!!! This is just one more summer that, if wasted, will be gone forever. Don't let that time with them slip away. I plan to enjoy EVERY MINUTE spent with my little girl this summer! God bless you and your family.

  11. I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to come over to my blog and check it out. God bless, Lloyd

  12. You have written so many words that could have come out of my own fingers. wow! I will keep you in my prayers and hope we both come out of this down time in our lives soon. For ourselves and for our kids.

    New follower by the way,


  13. Thank you for visiting Sharing the Pages of Life. I am now following you back. Your children are beautiful, and as was the honesty in this post. I am praying right now that God brings someone who can be your partner in life! muah muah!! and hugs!!

  14. Every road provides a lesson for us all to grow and improve... I hope your road is a short one and that you will soon have all that you want.

  15. Debbie dear,blessings. I have closed my blog due to lack of time and inspiration. But will definitely come by whenever I can. Don't forget me!!