I have taken a lot of playful ribbing lately
for my lack of cooking skills..
actually I have taken ribbing most of my life!!
It makes me laugh!
I know its fun!
But, I wonder...
is this an area that I am deciding just is?
Or is this an area I should grow?
It is easy in my new found freedom
to feel that who I am is enough.
I lived most of my adult life
feeling behind the eight ball..
not completely loved by the man in my life.
But, at what point
is your acceptance of who you are,
to the detriment of who you can be?
I really don't like to cook!!!
I can cook to some degree,
and I cooked every day of my marriage!
BUT, it was sustainable and classic!
It literally had no spice ;)!
I wonder why I would feel the need to change that?
Is it for me?
Is it the hopes that I would make someone else happy?
Is it with the desire my son will one day say;
"no-one cooks like my mother".
I can guarantee at the rate I am going,
if he says that phrase..
it will not be meant as a compliment!!
Why accept if its unacceptable?
and what defines the line of what is and what should be?
I wonder if all this comes down to this simple fact;
I want to be more then I am!
I want to grow and learn and excel!
But, I also want to be loved for my weaknesses
and accepted with my faults.
Am I running from a weakness?
Or am I walking towards a new strength?
I guess only time will tell...