So, its time..
I am on the hunt for a job.
Summers are good for me
as I can survive and thrive
and enjoy the time with my kids.
But, August is on the way!
I try not to feel nervous.
I know that I can manage for a bit!
I know that we will not starve...
and I know that I will not loose my place to live!
I am luckier then most!
alone-single-as a mother
takes on a whole new meaning.
I know in a couple things can get VERY tight.
But, in a solo led family
YOU ARE IT!
and if you drop this ball,
there is no one coming behind you to pick it up!
I was raised very traditionally!
My father worked!
My mother raised us!
I married into a traditional marriage!
My husband worked!
I raised the kids!
So this has opened my eyes to both sides
of this coin.
No matter what the future brings
I will always understand deeply
the pressure of being the breadwinner!
But, the present is here...
and the process
of pounding the pavements has begun.
With it the fear of rejection
and the excitement that comes
with new experiences!
that little part of me,
that has to keep pressing forward
so I do not look back!
So I do not evaluate why I am here!
and how different things might have been.
Its a reminder that perspective
comes easily when waters are clear...
but when they get muddy and sticky and bog you down,
your perspective can sometimes get cloudy too!
So here is to a new day!
and clear vision!
Life being hard in the moment
does not change the promise and hope
that the future now holds!