This week I am on vacation with my children.
Today we spent a few hours horse riding,
last night we went go carting!
We have done a movie
and the pool.
We shall end our time
at the beach.
Its been great!
But, it has helped me to realize
why I resist a relationship.
I no longer fear someone trying to control me.
I am stronger then that!
I fear and resist someone
trying to influence and control my family!
I have blogged about my lack of a dating life,
but will admit interest has been shown..
but I RUN!
I was speaking with a friend recently
about a man I had chatted with.
I told my friend that I knew I was incompatible
with this person I spoke with for..
all of 15 minutes..:)
When I was pushed as to why?
I could come up with very little;
other then the fact that our children were different
from what I could tell!
It has ONLY been this week
that I have understood why that was an issue for me.
I envision having to change how I do things-
I cringe when I remember how I allowed that before!
I think now that I see it,
and know it..
I might not have to run from it!
If I a strong enough not to be controlled,
then I am strong enough to protect my children also!
often I fear what I do not understand.
This makes sense to me;
therefore I can face it, own it
and move on from it!
It does not mean I shall date yet;
it just means I will not base my objection
solely of how we vacation with our children,
or who watches what on TV!
Understanding my role is pivotal!
My children do not need a father- they have one.
and I, as the mother,
the sole parent when they are with me;
will always maintain the final authority
when it comes to my children!
End of story-
as it should be!
And now I can move on
to the next fear-
having conquered this one!:)