Still learning...and learning some more...

These past 2 1/2 years...
and the 2 years before that..
have been filled with lessons.

At the heart of it all,
has been learning
who I am..
and understanding what
I really want out of my
life!

It has also been a lesson
about the past..
learning from it,
accepting it-
reconciling it..
and letting it go.

The two lessons
go hand in hand-

Now, that I understand
who I am-
I am less likely
to repeat the past!

I look at the two main
relationships I had,
and I know that at the core
were people
who hoped
that the differences would not matter-
that love would over come.
and in the end..
it was not enough...
the foundation was weak-

now..
I know that FAITH
is vital.
I understand
that family comes first-
my kids need their mother
to be their advocate!
anyone who comes into my life-
will accept them and that...
and I will be flexible without
compromising
who I am!
I want simple-
I want what I have already!

As I sat in my back yard today-
enjoying the sounds of nature,
I knew...
that this is what I need!
And I have it...

anyone I meet,
will want it too..
he will understand
the simple joys
of backyard chickens,
and trees...
he will accept
that kids need to play
with frogs
and build forts with sticks..
he will enjoy
that who I am
needs to nurture and care
for creatures...
its just a part of what
makes me tick...

and if that man never comes..
I still know what I want..
what I desire..
I have plans
for a little land..
and a little home...
I have dreams
of barns, and goats,
and stray cats...

I want to look at the stars,
and listen to the crickets chirp.
I want to smell the rain..
and hear the wind rustle the leaves
in the trees...
I want to live
my life connected
to nature..
and I want to dream
in earth tones...

I get me...
I accept me...
and that is enough...
no matter who comes along..
or does not!
that is enough!