Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Facing the fire within their eyes...

I love my daughters..
I love my son!
my son is 13!
he has normal moments of anger
and moods..
but is reasonably even keeled..

My girls are the other hand
are more like me...
and emotional...

The pre teen years are killing me..:)

And yet-
as I react to the look my daughter gives me
when I get close to her and look in her eyes..
when I invade her space-
in my frustration!
I KNOW that she is my child!
I see in her compliance
matched with strength!
She will listen,
she will obey..
but she will not be broken!!

I cannot acknowledge that;
with out understanding
that I want my daughters
to hold onto their fire!
I need them to know their worth
and feel angry
when that is threatened
NO matter who threatens it!

NOW- I need to learn
to accept
what comes across as defiance
and give them the space needed
to retain their strength,
while still expecting respect!
What a fine line...

But, as a mother
who knows what it is
to have your soul under attack,
and what it feels like
to only survive intact
because of a fire within
that refused to be doused,
I can see the fire in them
and know
that I never want
to be responsible for putting that flame out..

Now if I could just figure out
how NOT to match the fire within
the fire within

Jumping through hoops....
ablaze with flames,
and just praying you
don't take a step
that leaves life altering scars....

No pressure in THAT!:)


  1. Oh.. that last paragraph... rings in my ears... I think it is the part I grapple most with when it comes to parenting... especially single handedly... : )

  2. They'll survive and so will you. That's the wonders of parenting ;o)

  3. I definitely can really relate to to your post!

    Proud to be a Single mom.

  4. It is truly a dance!! Someone must lead for a time.

  5. I love the passion here, but wasn't so crazy about wanting your kids to get angry when they feel threatened. Could they instead feel compassion? Or confidence? Or a mix of them both? Keep their passion going in a positive direction. Defiance does not have to rule the teen years.

    I have a 14 y.o. and an 18 y.o., and they are both social, independent, confident kids. They march to their own beat, and they don't get angry.

    Sounds like you've got a wonderful handful of kids!!

  6. dads house- I completely agree with you!! Maybe strength and resilience is a better way to describe it then anger!!!

  7. Two kinds of kids scare me - the ones filled with rage who will not accept authority or guidance form any adult and the overly docile kids who never, never stand up for themselves. Give me balanced children who mostly behave but also know their own minds and will speak up.