Sunday, October 17, 2010

What I've missed the most...

As I look back on my life..
on my childhood..
on my marriage..
on my disaster..

There has always been a common
a desire
that ran like a thread through
each experience.

A desire to be cherished,
cared for...

As a child
I had that!
parents who loved me!
A father who protected me.

In my marriage
not as much!
Protection..I had!
Was I safe from an intruder?
Would my honor be defended?
of course!
But, was my heart safe?
was I cherished?

In my disaster..
I believed I was with someone
who adored me!
I came to understand
that there is a big difference
being possessed
and being adored!
One leaves you smothered
and gasping for air..
The other makes your heart beat
so fast you loose your breathe!

I DO want to loose my breathe...
I do NOT want to gasp for air!

I do not need a father..
I do not need a provider!

But, a protector?
someone to cherish my heart
and care enough
to step into my world
for a moment..

That is what I have missed the most...

Because I HAVE felt this before,
not in my past relationships,
but instead I know this feeling
from my dreams!

It would be nice to feel it with my eyes
wide open!


  1. Protection is nice. I too had it growing up and lacked it in my marriage. But you are strong and protecting yourself.
    Dont get discouraged. One day what you look for will happen

  2. Some day you will experience it and you will love it and Cherish the feeling. give it time.....

  3. Having a protector is a nice thing to have. It will happen, it's a Diva Decree!

  4. Yes it is nice! I am adored and cherished and I love it! It is a new experience for me and I hope it never ends!
    I am glad you are feeling it with your eyes open!!

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  6. I really enjoy coming back to your site...

    Proud to be a single mom