Sunday, October 17, 2010

What I've missed the most...

As I look back on my life..
on my childhood..
on my marriage..
on my disaster..

There has always been a common
need..
a desire
that ran like a thread through
each experience.

A desire to be cherished,
protected,
cared for...
adored!

As a child
I had that!
parents who loved me!
A father who protected me.

In my marriage
not as much!
Protection..I had!
Was I safe from an intruder?
yes!
Would my honor be defended?
of course!
But, was my heart safe?
was I cherished?
no!

In my disaster..
I believed I was with someone
who adored me!
I came to understand
that there is a big difference
between
being possessed
and being adored!
One leaves you smothered
and gasping for air..
The other makes your heart beat
so fast you loose your breathe!

I DO want to loose my breathe...
I do NOT want to gasp for air!

I do not need a father..
I do not need a provider!

But, a protector?
someone to cherish my heart
and care enough
to step into my world
for a moment..

That is what I have missed the most...

Because I HAVE felt this before,
not in my past relationships,
but instead I know this feeling
from my dreams!

It would be nice to feel it with my eyes
wide open!

6 comments:

  1. Protection is nice. I too had it growing up and lacked it in my marriage. But you are strong and protecting yourself.
    Dont get discouraged. One day what you look for will happen

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  2. Some day you will experience it and you will love it and Cherish the feeling. give it time.....

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  3. Having a protector is a nice thing to have. It will happen, it's a Diva Decree!

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  4. Yes it is nice! I am adored and cherished and I love it! It is a new experience for me and I hope it never ends!
    I am glad you are feeling it with your eyes open!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  6. I really enjoy coming back to your site...


    Proud to be a single mom

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