My safe place...

This park above
borders a lake...
It is in the down town area
of the small town
I live in..
and in so many ways;
it holds my heart!

When I was 14
my parents told me
we were moving.
I was happy where we were!
I was determined to
hate the new town..
We drove down the middle
of the town,
right towards
this lake!
I have never forgotten
the view.
It was the first time
I began to soften.
Today..
I live on the road!
The road that heads
down town!
I can stand in my street
and see the lake,
exactly as I did
as a young teenager!
It still settles
my soul.

This park,
by the lake..
holds many of my memories.
In high school
my best friend and I
hung out at the band shell.
My first date with the man
who stole my heart
was there...
For many years
as a family we had picnics
in the park,
we talked as a couple
while the children climbed the trees.
and then,
it was the place
we decided together
we were going to divorce.
We had run out of options.
It is the park
I went to grieve my marriage,
the place I went to cry
the day I left our home.
It is the place
my children and I walk to often
and the place I run.

And yesterday,
as I watched my children
climb trees..
and I looked out
at the lake
and the sail boats near by..
I realized ;
it is the place I come
to understand:
I am healing,
I am whole..
I am loved
and I am content!
I sit in a part of my world
that holds
so many of my heart moments
and know
that they were hard,
and happy,
and life changing,
and exciting...
they were all moments
that woven together
make up the fabric of who I am!
They provide strength
and resilience...
and in moments when I falter
and fear
the future...
and worry about inevitable changes,
and wonder
if this state of being
is all I shall ever know,
I shall return
to my safe place of grass and water...
and be reminded
of my faith
my family
my friends....
and a future
that will be faced
with as much grace and determination
as the past!