for the most part
I have a pretty good perspective
on my life!
There are sad moments
and strong moments..
and each day is better...
BUT for some reason
I am struggling with something
that I am not sure should bother
My ex-husband (1st one..hubby of 15 years)
is going on a cruise with his girlfriend...
and it bothers me!
NOW they have been together 3 years..
we have been divorced 2 and 1/2..
its been a while for both circumstances..
and they have taken trips before
well, this just causes a lump in my throat!!
All I can think
is that is because
1) he never planned things with zeal that involved me..
yet in this the excitement is plain..the relationship they share..
is so different.. the person she is, is so different...and they way they live..
is so different..and once in a while...just for a moment..I compare!
The FUN time she will be... VS my more quite, 'life with grace VS a party' approach!!
2) the last vacation we took before the divorce
was a cruise for our 15th anniversay..planned and paid for before the end came..
and yet taken after we knew it was over!
So the memory is fraught with emotions....
3) its such a reminder of the differences in our lives now
and the differences between what was then and what is now...
for whatever reason...
I am tripping over this hurdle!
NOT stuck in it...
I will deal..
I will accept ...
and I will move on...
but in this moment..
it sucks!...just a bit!!