I am in a new phase,
Single...
loving it..
and looking..NOT!!!!
a few years back when I found myself
single the first time..
I was certainly single and looking!
There were many reasons,
I still believed in love,
I still desired marraige,
and I longed for the validation and security
a relationship would bring.
I noticed a wedding ring..or not.
I dressed aware that there was NO wedding ring
on my finger...
I was open..
looking...
and I found..
well...trouble!!
And now I am single again..
but not looking!
I know that I am not ready!
I know that I do not trust,
nor even completely believe in forever..
I know that I don't desire the complications
that a relationship would bring.
And its interesting how for me
this has been such a growing experience,
for the first time since I was 17 years old..
I dress to please only me!
I choose to dress up
or dress down
based not on the company I am keeping
or who I might see
but instead my whim...
I believe that in this time
I am, as a side affect, learning more about myself
and becoming comfortable in my own skin..
because I am looking
only for that!
Single..
and looking..
for me!
Good for you! We live in a very intersting society, where people, women most often, tend to try to be what we imagine others want us to be. It is only when we embrace our personhood that we truly become beautiful human beings, I believe! You are blossoming in your growth! You will find serenity there!
ReplyDeleteYou are learning what many people spend their lives missing-the ability to love the creation that God makes each of us to be.
ReplyDeletecareful..when I stopped looking, when I was happy with just me, that's when love found me...lol...not being needy is a very attractive trait!
ReplyDeleteBreeze
Gotta agree with Breeze...ironically this is probably when you're most likely to meet someone!
ReplyDeleteYay!! You will find you, darlin'. Of this I'm sure! I'm doing a little looking for me, too. I thought I was ready... then I wasn't... then I was... then I wasn't. I figure I ought not do it until I can make up my mind ;)
ReplyDelete