Thursday, July 9, 2009

letting it happen or making it happen...

My last post was on this same subject..
As I have mentioned before
my blog is my journal!
and right now
the place I am in
is one of overcoming hurt
and learning how to be me...
and thats what I journal about!!

I am watching others
and beginning to understand some basic truths about hurt
and disappointment!
Some times when we are hurt we take it, accept and just roll over for more..
and sometimes we see it resent it and set out to right the wrong!

I am not a therapist...
nor a counselor..
not anything in that category!
I speak only from my experiences
and lessons learn t!
BUT I will share that I have been through
2 very difficult divorces in the last 3 years!
Both different...
one a broken heart
the other a broken spirit..
But I can tell you that I overcame!"
That like everyone else
I have days where I wish things had happened
and moments when my heart still hurts...
I still question how one leaves another after so long
so easily
and my heart still aches for the pain my children went through!
BUT I am OK!! Truelly OK!

I believe there is a reason
that I survived moments
and overcame situations
in a way that looked almost 'easy' from the outside!
and I believe that some where in 'why'
lies the hope for everyone!

When something happens to us
we get to make something happen for us!
When I was married..
when my husband said he needed more
I tried to be more..
while it did not work..
it was an action!
It left me feeling that I was not a victim of my circumstances!
When I needed a job
I did not wait for a call
I dropped in
over and over
to the place I wanted to work...
if something in my life is not what I feel it should be
I examine it and figure out what steps I should take to fix it...
If my children are overwhelming me..
I read a book, ask a friend or expert and make a game plan..
and If I have made choices with negative consequences
I accept it
but make sure I learn from it
and try and figure out how to avoid it ever happening again..

The thing is does not always work!!
BUT it takes you from a place of victim,
in which life is happening to you,
and instead puts you in a place of survivor,
overcoming in spite of your circumstances!

This may be my temperament..
and sometimes my escape..
Sometimes I 'do' to my detriment,
and yet as I meet people going through hard times
and know people who I watch handling it in different ways..
I realize that we truelly can allow life to defeat us!
People really do give up!!
and that tells me
that its something we can control!
That we have the inner
and instinct to overcome..
but we have to decide that we want to!
and we have to take the steps
and realize it really is in our hands!


  1. Girl, with all you've accomplished lately, camping will be a breeze for you! ;)

  2. what a wonderful and postive message:) so encouraging!!

  3. You nailed it girl. It's the doing that gets things done, and you are right, we are all able to do something positive, the results aren't always in our control but the doing is always ours, the choice to walk or lay down is ours and we, as people, need to learn, above all other lessons, self reliance. Our health, our responsibility, our relationships, our responsibility, our decisions, all on us, and lesson number two is to let others have the ownership of their lives, that we are not responsible for others struggles, we can offer compassion and love but that's it..let them own their crap and grab your bootstraps and own your own stuff...that's it, that's all!
    Great post


  4. I completely agree!! We can't always control what happens to us but we can control how we deal with it. So many people don't seem to realize this, but the ones who do will be better off in the long run! :)