Tuesday, July 7, 2009

why does one fall and one survive??

Every day I meet people in crisis
so many who never say a word..
and yet there daily life
holds drama and hurt!

And I wonder
why does pain cause some to curl up
and struggle to move...
and others to fight their way out?
and in truth
don't both way cause some destruction!

I am a doer!
I handle by doing..
when life hits me hard
I hit back,
because I must!
If I did not I would falter and fall..
and so I 'do'!
Sometimes I don't stop to think or even feel..
But, then I speak to those
who hurt and feel
and some days cannot come up for air!
and I wonder?
is that a gene?
is that something we learn?
Does one get the 'depression' gene
and another the gene of 'denial'?
and another the gene of 'escape'?
because sometimes 'doing' is an escape!

I learn t years ago
that what had felt like overcoming
was really my moving on..
in denial!
and the result was events
that brought me right back to the place
where I had to stop, feel, hurt and then move on!

And so, I just contemplate
life and hurt
and the way we survive it!
I know that one size does not fit all
but I do know that we must move through it!
And I guess when all is said and done
as long as the end result is health
and healing..
the process becomes
and the method used
just a tool...
as long as ultimately the result is the same;


  1. Sometimes I'm a do-er. Sometimes I'm a curler-upper :) And like you, I've moved through in denial, THINKING I'd worked it out.

    Live and learn, eh?

    Well, at least we HOPE to live and learn! :)

  2. You always have such great ways of putting things, Deb.

  3. Such a great post! I also am a doer, and for the most part, I am happy with that. But sometimes I think that I hide behind my "doing." The doing distracts me, and I don't have to think and feel about the situation that is causing me pain. I like to think of that as "happy denial," but I don't know if it is always the right thing to do.

  4. I get what you are saying...I think it all comes down to emotional health...I think if we take care of our emotional health, feel the pain, work through the pain, come out the end of the pain with the lessons we are supposed to learn then we are stronger for the next obstacle but if the messages we've been sent our whole lives is to bottle it up, don't feel it, mash it down with food or alcohol or food or pills, if we cannot handle the little pains, if we cannot cope with the tiniest things, the big things will knock us cold. I work hard on making sure my children have a good emotional foundation for dealing with little pain and big pain and not using a crutch except in dire circumstances. I hope this gives them the strenght to go on, instead of giving up and giving in...