As a single mom...
my children are reflected in my blog
alot..
my journey and story is not complete
without the perils, joys and hurdles
of walking this path alone...
Some weeks I feel I have it..
and some weeks I know I don't!
This was a week in which,
while a lot went wrong..
(broken toilet, broken phone, kittens stuck in a tree and a forgotten science project)
I did not react towards my children..
I reacted to the stress!
And yet,
I still saw tension in my children,
more fighting between them...
and I wondered why?
The only thing that makes sense
is that,
while I may not have reacted towards them
or been angry at them...
the stress caused an interruption in our life
and a break in our pattern!
Family game night did not happen
due to plumbing issues..
Family movie night did not happen
due to boy scout event..
and the list goes on!
It made me realize how important routine is..
sometimes I am at the end of my rope..
tooo tired to play yahtzee when a crisis has zapped my energy..
and sometimes thats OK!
BUT often, the few minutes taken to keep some semblance of routine
is worth the few minutes later to bed...
or the dishes that wait until morning!
I learnt this lesson after the fact..
so now have to implement it..
knowing life WILL throw curve balls
but understanding that while children
ARE resilient..
in many ways they ARE just NOT that flexible!!!
and its up to me to ALLOW them the freedom NOT to bend when possible!
We have weeks like that too. What I make sure to do is to discuss it with them. We talk about the "energy shift" that happens in stressful times and they get it and my little ones are very little.
ReplyDeleteI too rarely react towards the children but they sense when things are stressful and they act out. The saying "a child does not act right when he doesn't feel right" is so true!
Conversation and understanding and some positive reinforcement that they are able to react to change and be resilient might also be in order...and I do it after the fact, maybe next game night simply express how important it is and how you missed it and how well they are all doing.
I find these deliberate but casual observations to the kids goes a long way!
Humans resist change..It must be an instinct..yet it is change that allows us to grow..we're complicated creatures and the newer humans are double tricky..lol.
Breeze
I love your posts! I seldom comment (sorry!) but I read every single one and it often leads me to pray for you. You have grown so much through all of this and you are an inspiration. You are giving your kids a wonderful life and a healthy mom.
ReplyDeleteThanks Breeze! Great advice! and Tiffany, that means ALOT!! thank you!
ReplyDelete