Monday, July 19, 2010

I still get catch my breath at the irony..

life is good.
I am content!
I wish I had a job..
but that shall come.
all in all..
life is what it should be!
And I am in a wonderful place.

Yet, still there are moments!
The moments do not make me sad.
Sometimes they make me wonder.
Sometimes they make me think.
and Sometimes I have to take a breath!

There is irony in hurt.
Today I drove by the workplace
of my ex.
Its near my house,
I drive by daily.
For some reason I was aware of the time of day..
and it struck me,
he had probably left work
and had probably gone home.

The irony??
of the 2 of us,
his is the life that most reflects what he left!
He is the one in the serious relationship.
He is the one who goes home from work
to be with the one he loves.
He is the one buying tickets for 5;
3 kids- 2 adults.

How ironic-
when the reason he left,
was not wanting 'that'.
The truth?
It was not 'that'-
it was 'that' with me-.

It has taken time but I get that,
and am OK with that!

But, in moments-
I cannot help but see the irony!
I cannot help but reflect
on all that was and is no more!!

Maybe the biggest irony-
is that out of the 2 of us,
I turned out to be the one
more OK alone.
I turned out to be the one
more OK with where we are,
then I ever would have guessed.

This is better for me-
Better then what was.
I am happier, healthier and more hopeful
then I ever imagined possible.
Not sure if that is irony..
but I do know that it's true.

6 comments:

  1. I think you have turned a major corner, good luck to you and know that I am keeping you in my prayers.......:-) Hugs

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  2. Being OK being alone is one of the healthiest things ever... but I wonder if your ex husband ever thinks the same... Irony indeed.

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  3. Hi Deb! almost 2 yrs now since I have broken up with my exboyfriend. I heard he is living with someone now with their more than a yr old child. Since we broke up I have never seen him even coincidentally anywhere our town. I already move on and accepted what happened but still am not yet ready to see them. But your ex is just near you always, the courage you have to be constantly facing this situation is a wow!

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  4. My ex-husband immediately started a relationship just before our divorce was final and I think has become a better person. I sometimes wonder why I couldn't bring about that change, why I am still single and he has someone to go home to and then I realized...I can be alone and independant...he can't. That's when I feel that I'm ok with our divorce...I have a second chance..this time I will be true to myself now that I know better who that is. :)

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  5. Maybe the irony is that what she ends up with is what you are better off without! Thank GOODNESS you do not have to live that anymore, for better or worse! (and most of it was worse)

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  6. I like this one. Very nice. You know that you don't have to be single Debbie. You are a beautiful, quirky and wonderful woman. Have FAITH. Something good may come of it. Doors open all the time.

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