What a dilemma this can be!
I think for most people
this is confusing!
It is cut and dry if there is deep hate
or a dangerous situation!
In my case..its not that!
And yet the holidays are a dilemma!
What happens when their father is with someone else?
is it now that persons role??
Do you give a gift?
or just your child?
or does your child get a card
and the other parent take care of the celebration...
I remember reading about a parent
who said she never let her child go empty handed
for her childs sake..
that made an impact but it still was a matter of how...
and for a while I experienced
the jealousy of the new man in my life..
and it got even more awkward!!
BUT, if it can be helped..
the kids like to feel prepared!
It matters to them..
and so over this past year
I have incorporated the 'other' parent
into my gift giving..
as he has me!!
Altho he forgot mothers day..but whose counting!!! LOL!!!;)
on his birthday..
it did not seem right
for him to take the kids to lunch!
and yet, its not in my budget pay for them all..
and so instead..
they invited him to their home!
They helped with lunch
set the table
cleaned the house!
They were entertaining THEIR dad!
IT was actually really nice!
I knew I was welcome,
but chose to stay in the background!
I knew how much the alone time meant to them..
as they often share their dads attention.
and I know that welcome or not..
it is no longer my place...
They had a good time..
they showed him they loved him..
they were free to share their home with them..
and I learnt another lesson
in the love it takes to give even when it hurts
and the blessings that come back ten fold!!