Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Drama magnet or victim of circumstances???

Lately it feels that the word
is used in my life alot!
and by lately
I mean roughly
THE last three years!!

And yet,
before then my life was drama free!
IT was never Chaos free!
I tend to be a person
who functions well in chaos!
I was/ am the mom who loves
kids, and cats
dogs and babies...
I don't mind the chaos that a family brings
and am reasonably easy going
about painting in the kitchen..
or once in a while on the walls:)
or eating in the living room..
or a pet frog in the bedroom for a night or two!
All this feels like chaos
to those who live a little more buttoned up!
and thats OK!
BUT it was not drama!
I had good kids...rarely in trouble!
MY marriage was fight free!
(turns out we were missing more then fights however!)
I was living my dream
drama free!

Three years ago my husband left!
That period of time
was drama through and through!
The leaving then staying!
His confessing
then choosing to go..
his repenting
and choosing to stay..
then leaving again!
It was a daily ordeal...
Then it was over!
Then dating began..
of course,
thats drama in itself..
then I met someone
way to soon..
or more importantly
way too wrong for me
and married into
what would become
a volatile situation!
6 months in to the marriage
we reached a place
that the drama happened bi monthly-
then weekly- and finally
not a day went by!
He kicked me out
then changes him mind,..
he involved my family
I involved my family..
it was everything a relationship should not be!!

Then I finally left..
and yet the drama continued!
NOT on my part!
but from the unsolicited contact
and the divorce drama..
and all that goes with it...

and NOW when life should be peaceful
I find
that just by the very virtue of being a divorced woman;
single mom
and all the bumps in the post divorce
and single road..
there is still drama!
THEN add to that
children growing..
reaching new stages..
(talk about DRAMA)
add car trouble
or house issues...
and it seems like life is just always a little NUTS!!

BUT, is it fair to place the drama on me??
Is it fair to say that I am a 'drama magnet' or 'queen'..
or does life just happen to some of us louder then others??

OR maybe I am just more verbal??
I tend to share my heart with the word..
maybe everyone has drama...
just not everyone shares it quite as openly?
hmmm...just pondering!!!

1 comment:

  1. Hey, your refuge package should be arriving soon. Maybe that will help!