what does not kill you....

There are so many great sayings
about overcoming..
about persevering..
about climbing the mountain
and getting out of the pit!
None of them mean a thing until you live them
and then you have to apply them!

I am learning a new stage of life!
The first several months in this post divorce(s) journey
was healing!
understanding!
accepting!!
Then it was adapting!
growing!
flourishing!

NOW I am at the 'maintaining' place!
For the most part
the ache is gone!
The acceptance in there!
The healing, if not complete, definitely well on its way!
Now, life is the focus!
and sometimes just life
can send you screaming!

And yet I have to face it
overcome it
and choose how I want to live it!

and the truth...
no matter how hard the circumstance
I have faced worse...
it could be worse...
No matter how high the mountain
I have the support and determination to climb it!

This is still my life...
I have the greatest gift.
I have freedom!
I have the ability to work...
I have the ability to walk..
I live in a country with choices..
I have a home..
I have a family...
I have my soul.
my integrity..
my heart...

And for the first time I have the basic understanding
that all those things are mine..
and n0t up for grabs!
I never have to give because I feel trapped...
or run because I need to breathe!

I am free!
I am strong!
I survived!
and now as I maintain
this life
that at times brings trials
I face it knowing...
that if I can overcome the fear..
and the heart break..
the loneliness...
and the crippling devastation..
I can face the preteen blues..
and the car trouble..
and the electric bill!!

I can maintain..
because I already OVERCAME!