Tuesday, December 7, 2010

a learning curve

now that have I dated
after 2 years!
Had a relationship
that was good..
but ended.

I wonder
do I know what I am doing?

Is being honest enough?

Should slow be slower?

Should timing be different?

Should positive words, that you feel,
be saved
until you are sure
you will never have doubts again?

How do you figure out
how not to say the wrong
and yet how
to say whats on your heart...
even when your heart
seems to change its mind
in moments!

Dating confuses me!

Should I do what I did;
and retreat to my life alone?
should I just take this as a lesson
in what was right?
and what was not?
or instead a sign
that I am not ready
for what might be!

or should I assume
that maybe mistakes made
reflect a lack of 'know how'
is the bigger scheme
of this dating world....

no matter what I decide..
or what happens from here
I am OK!

I have been settled
for a long time!
Being alone is something I enjoy!

So for now,
that becomes
the default.....

and I hope
that if the time
comes that I venture out
that I will find
what has been
caused me to grow...
and learn,
not regress!


  1. I think being alone is wonderful. I think it's IMPERATIVE that you're happy alone before you can be happy with someone else. I think you can want someone to share your life but you shouldn't need someone.

    And I think you shouldn't be afraid to put yourself out there if it feels right. Just seek out someone with healthy, reasonable boundaries -- someone willing to respect YOUR boundaries. Those men are out there... they ARE (damn it! ;).

    Take your time, my friend... be happy... you're wonderful and you deserve the best... and it'll all happen in good time! XO

  2. What there has to be..along with the guy being a super nice person to all the world..is a connection..a soul connection...when you feel that you let go of all the cautions and attachment to correct behavior and what's right and wrong...and in my opinion it often comes in an instant and once you are together, you look back as though you loved each other even before you met. But don't run with just the connection..like I said..he should be a wonderful human too :)


  3. Yes! You move on...head held high...filled with confidence and liking yourself!! The next relationship will be even better and who knows where it will lead. Ahhh! the excitement!!

  4. Agree, move on learn from those you date, continue to date and have fun!

  5. Perhaps he was a gentle testing ground and lesson to help you find your way towards a truer happiness. It might feel hollow now, but perhaps there will be some insight for this time later.

  6. I think the saying is that you will kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. I am in no way calling him that, but just refering to the fact that dating is a different experience everytime with every person. You learn things about you in the process that help when the right one comes along. Be honest to you always!!!!
    I am proud of you both for getting out there and going for it. You both learned.

  7. Being "alone" is easier, but is that really what makes you happy? Being in a relationship is work sometimes, but if you run everything things get a little uncomfy.. well, thats just not productive!
    Of course I speak from experience. I have been single for many years because it is easy!

  8. Thanks all for the comments!
    Crystal Lynn, you are right! But, I do not think you should run just because something gets uncomfortable! I Think you should run if you know something does not feel right!...I am not sure that being alone is easier...but I have come to accept it! I Can also see that in time it might feel easier..and like you maybe I will be saying the same thing one day! LOL!!