Thursday, July 28, 2011

dating mom...complicated situation

No matter what happens
with this current
'dating situation'
I am in..
I am learning SO much!!

We are two people
with a past!
That's what happens
when you begin dating
at almost 40..
with children
and ex's...

Along with the past-
comes the hurt-
along with the hurt-
comes the fear-
along with the fear-
comes the walls.

All those things
change the way
you date!

I remember dating in my late teens..
the newness
the excitement..
the belief that love was enough.
(it was not.)

I date as a devoted mother..
who has learned
that love can let you down.
I date a man
who is a father first..
who has learned the same thing.

And so-
I learn!
I learn to talk rather than assume.
I learn that sometimes
things are not what they appear.
I learn that men who have been hurt
are as weary as woman.
I learn that a mans hurt
is a steel wall..
I learn that a woman's hurt
is strong on the outside but buckles
when hope is introduced.
I learn that working it out
is harder than walking away-

I learn that the heart is resilient
but retains the scars..
and has a memory of its own!

I learn!
and no matter
whether this is a few more weeks
or turns into a lifetime;
the lessons
are shaping who I am
in this new stage of healing!


  1. I've had to learn: 1) that the risk of hurt is not greater then the gains of being with someone you love 2) you cannot judge one relationship by another 3) you have to look forwards not backwards 4) life is short and needs
    to be lived

    All the best with the dating -
    I have my fingers crossed that this man will make you very happy.

  2. I was just speaking about this very thing with a friend the other day. We have to get past the scars and love like we have never been hurt. Each relationship is new but holds the ghosts of the old. It is good to know this going in.

  3. Spencer- thats a very kind thing to say! Thankyou!

    Not a soccer mom- its true..being armed with the knowledge helps you keep your perspective!!

  4. i'm glad you are still dating! and i agree with everything you said. it seemed so simple dating when i was younger. life experience, loss of rose-colored glasses, it really changes things.

    i think i agree most that men have a steel wall and women will buckle at the thought of hope! so tough.