Sunday, July 31, 2011

Sticks and Stones...Not!

I hear the phrase so often-
"actions speak louder than words"
and I understand that to most
this is true-
and certainly
to some degree I feel the same.

but, not as much
as one would think!

Words touch my heart
or break it!

When I think over
life changing moments..
the things I remember
are the words that were said!
Not the 'things' I came to know-
or even the things I saw
or experienced...
its the words
that were said to me
about the event at hand..
that left the lasting impression!

If I were to list
the most heartbreaking
aspects of my divorce-
the memories I have
are all things said..
the moments I broke;
were within the sounds-
not the silence.

When I remarried..
what broke me?
the things said to me.
The put downs
and the unkind criticisms..
that carried more weight
than extravagant gestures..
or even the times
spent in peace.

On the flip side...
when kind words are spoken
my heart soars...
talking something out
with someone-
makes me feel close
and connected to them.

This is not always a good trait..
some people use words
as weapons..
some use them at their bidding.
some say them without malice..
and yet they implant in my heart-
with hurt!
for me-
I notice words more than most..
something said as an aside-
will make me wonder and think.
something said in kindness or compliment
will replay in my mind and heart!
something said in anger-
can become a stone in my core.
something said in love..
will keep me holding on,
sometimes beyond reason.

But,it is what it is...
sticks and stones
are preferable..
can make me
or break me!

And now,
as I see this-
I wonder!
am I as careful
with my words?
do I measure them as carefully
as I should-
do I regard them as powerful..
or do I react and just say them..
and pick up the pieces later!?

I hope being more aware
of the effect they have on me..
I will be more aware
of the way I share them
with others!

I hope that knowing how words
change my perceptions-
I will learn to judge in balance..
I will hear the words,
read the tone,
look at the actions-
and begin to
hear beyond the syllables...
and see beyond the definitions.


  1. Words have hurt me in the past and,
    I guess, my words have hurt others.

    You are right - it is very important that we measure our words and say only those things we mean

  2. i agree. there are so many times i can remember.. it wasn't the actions but the words that have scarred me. and on the flip side, people who show me the least bit of grace or affection.. or attention, will more than likely make me so incredibly happy. i just can't handle it. most of the time, i take kind words too far when really they weren't intended as i have perceived. this has lead to heart ache occasionally.

  3. It seems that the actions are stronger in love and the words are stronger in anger. Usually, both sides need to check themselves in an arguement to step away before speaking out of anger. However, some just have no boundary when it comes to hurting words.