Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My definition of peace

3 Months ago my life changed once again
3 months can be a life time

As I look back on the lessons I have learnt
I realize that within the lessons were also moment of clarity
and opportunities for closure
and fresh starts...

as well, of course, looks back and tears shed.. and regrets pondered...

One of the most surreal aspects of this journey
has been the closure
not with the man from whom I ran..
but with the man who broke my heart
first go round...

Somehow it all became ok!
I cannot tell you how, or why...
I cannot give you the formula to the peace that has come...

But, I can tell you that when closure came and a new relationship formed,
when as parents we chose to partner completely
and walk beside eachother in this role..at least...
the burden of anger, bitterness, frustration, sadness and hurt..
was no longer mine to carry

I can no longer dwell in it, revel in it, hide behind it..
I no longer own it.
I let it go... I said goodbye to all the emotions of sadness..

and instead found that this man that I have known for 17 years...
can still be my friend, as I can be his,
and our children have learnt that they matter more to us then the past...

and closure has come.
and with the closure came my ability to truelly move past
and move on...
not with reluctance
but with completeness...
not with sadness
but with excitement..
not with regret
but with hope...

a different definition of family....
and a whole knew meaning to the word and reality of

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