definition or direction

Does our past define us?
or does our past direct us?

The choice is ours!

Recently a friend who will soon
be in a place to counsel others,
shared her hurt!
she said to me ;
"how do I tell others to trust their spouse,
based on what I know can be?".
My response?
"You don't tell them to trust their spouse,
you tell them to trust themselves."

As I spoke the words
it resonated within me.
Often our hurts
are not only about the other person,
their choices and behavior.
Instead they are a reflection of us.
Did we accept the unacceptable?
Did we deny the reality?
Did we push the inevitable?
And did we trust what we knew to be?

If we trust ourselves,
we leave when we know we must!
we stay when we know we should.
we love because we believe in it,
and we trust because we choose too.
We know that what happens to us
will only be what we allow
and we accept that we are strong enough,
to make hard decisions if we have to.

The first step in learning to trust again...
starts within us!
When we trust our own intuition
and our motives
and convictions..
we can then trust another,
because we know that no matter what
THEY do with the trust we give them,
we will be OK!!...

I trust ME because to move forward;
I must!
I trust YOU because to move forward;
I can!