our celebration...

I wanted to do something special..
My son is a teenager,
and the side effect of that
is that I am the mother of a teenager.
Something that those who know me well
know I am struggling to comprehend..:).

I planned a mini-vacation with the kids.
I jumped through hoops to make it happen,
sold a few things..
volunteered several hours to earn tickets
to a theme park,
got a sub at work..

and finally the time is here.

Small..but fun..
a few nights in a hotel,
a day at a Disney theme park.

So much has stood out to me these few days...

I still notice the absence of another,
but I no longer fear being alone.
I notice couples
and miss the connection,
but I like calling the shots.
While I am aware of the missing hand to hold,
its no longer like a phantom pain..
a limb that is missing.
Instead it is just what it is!
No more! No less!

There are some things I just forget to do..
things that for half my life someone else
was there to do for me...
I paid no attention to where we parked.
Not a big deal in Wal-Mart,
but at Disney??
well a bigger deal..
Thankfully my son does notice those things,
and when I in a panic
at the end of the day
wondered out loud exactly
where we were supposed to get off the tram...
He knew! PHEW!!
I did not get directions back to the hotel,
and I have NO sense of direction
and a very temperamental GPS.
But, we found it..eventually!!
Those things were minor glitches
and on the whole the time has been good.
Tiring in some aspects..
but, good nonetheless!

There were surreal moments..
as I was standing in line with my 3 kids
waiting for tickets..
behind me was a family with 3 children
staggered in age like mine..
but about 5 years behind.
AND we were BOTH saying the same things;
"be nice to your brother"
"stay off the ropes"
"don't fight"..
It made me smile out loud!

Life..is such a circle
and we keep coming back to the same
station...
each stop
finds us older,
some times wiser,
often more frazzled..
and then we go around again
until the next stop
in the same place
just different circumstances!

So glad to have these times
with my children.
I work hard for them now.
I don't take them for granted.
BUT, no matter what it took
I would happily do it again!