Friday, December 18, 2009

ugliest word when you are divorced..

I am learning there is a word
post heartbreak;
that is uglier then a four letter word..
that word is WE!
and it is said by your ex
and does NOT refer to him and you!


'we' were wondering..
'we' were thinking..
'we' have an issue..
'we' would like....
blah blah blah blah blah...

Its not that I am surprised...
hes been with the gal a long while..
but always without true commitment.
living together on and off..
but he was HE
she was she..
he left me as he did not want to be committed!
So whats the 'we' stuff?????
I know that if they marry there will be more of it,
so I guess this is the initiation..
but for whatever reason,
hearing a sentence
beginning with 'we'
from the person you once believed
was your forever...
is just,


  1. Yeah I understand that, especially if "We" have something to say about the kids.

    You may not want reminding but it is fact, you have since remarried, your ex probably felt the same then. You should have passed this "we" stage by now Debbie. He is your ex, nothing more, in fact, why not send them both a Christmas card or a joint gift? It will do you more good than it will them. It will help to let go I think.
    Steve x

  2. Debbie dear, for my ex, he has never used that word 'we' when we were married. His disinterest in the 'we-ness' made me want to focus on the 'me-ness' instead. Bless you.:)

  3. Steve- I think its hard as its new..they were together before I knew my ex and I even had problems and are still together..but the new 'we think this' especially about the kids is what I am adjusting to!! great advice on the gifts and one I do! In fact we also all go to church together christmas eve and attend functions together! I think you nailed it..its the 'we' about the kids that I am trying to accept! That someone other then me and him have a 'say' or opinion!! So agree with you Gaia..disinterest towards me in our marraige makes his complete commitment to another hard!

  4. Debbie,
    I think my last comment may have seemed a bit harsh, I apologise. I think it's great (for the kids) that you go to church on Christmas eve, that must be quite hard. I'm not sure I'd have the strength to do that.
    I've looked at the photos of you and your kids, you seem really close and happy. I wouldn't let any of this "we" thing affect you. You simply need to keep being Mum (or Mom in the USA)I know it's hard to let go, as I commented on a previous post, it will take a few years, keep posting, keep having a moan, get it all out of your system. You'll be fine, you're another day closer to no longer feeling as you do. :) x

  5. Steve,no!! you were right and you made me rethink WHY it bothered me and you helped me realize where the feeling really lies which is in sharing my kids! I do blog to vent and often as I write I learn and grow! and I learn more from the comments then anything else! Thanks for sharing and encouraging me and being part of this process...

  6. Thanks for allowing me to be part of the process. :) x

  7. Hang in there. I don't know when or if you ever really get past it all, especially when you have children together. You forgive and move on but then sometimes when you least expect it something happens and you find yourself soul searching, praying and asking Jesus to help you forgive again. I enjoy your posts and only someone that has been there can fully appreciate where you are coming from. You are doing a beautiful job with your children and God's grace is sufficient for all our needs. Take care and keep up the good work.

  8. thank you! your comment spoke to my is true about the fact that in unexpected moments you are taken back in time and feel the hurt you thought you had left behind! And yes, Jesus is the only cure for the broken heart!!