Friday, December 25, 2009

Upside of divorce...

after a wonderful christmas morning..
when the presents were opened..
breakfast eaten...
wrapping paper thrown away...
my children were anticipating their dad
picking them up
for round two!
My middle child said
that she actually likes that she has two families,
that there is a good side to a divorce...
YES! the two christmas's!
I was so torn when she said it..
on the one hand
I am glad that hurt is no longer raw..
the new memories have overpowered old..
and that the silver lining evident.
On the other hand
I want to issue a warning..
something like
"don't try this at home.." or "leave this to the professionals"..
because the double holiday does not erase the lifetime
of potential hang ups and scars...
so much flashed through my mind,
but, I smiled and said " I know, how fun!"
They lived it..they know! they need no reminders...
and yes,there are upsides..
and the pain fades..
and this year I realized that Christmas was OK alone..
actually better then OK!
I have learnt that I will heal 'situationaly'
and some things cause no pain, some cause some pain and other situations cause....
just regrets, wishes, or hopes!
there is no one size fits all..
but all will pass and fade..
and each moment in time brings new hope and healing
and a healthier tomorrow!


  1. My Kids have "enjoyed" two Christmas's although I suspect that it is just them looking for some good in what is bad. Children are especially good at adapting to situations and we can learn from them. Sadly it is a cruel reality that life constantly changes, it is fluid, there are no certainties except for taxation and death.
    What we do in the meantime is what enhances our time on earth. If we accept that nothing is forever then we can start to enjoy each moment for what it is, nothing less, nothing more.

    Merry Christmas.

  2. Although the first Christmas or two after a divorce can be hard.. Things work out and alone time can be download and recover time.
    Merry Christmas

  3. My thoughts exactly, nothing stays the same except 'death' and 'taxes'. It was what prompted me to write about the shortness of life. We want to feel, we want to love. We are spending too much time being angry and upset and I am just learning to change my ways, so that I will not live to regret it.

    Debbie, I can understand how you feel and I'll be praying for the both of us. :)