Sunday, March 14, 2010

there is an art to being a single mom..

the greatest complaint
single moms have
is often no money..
and equally as often no time...
there is no real cure for either.
But, I am learning there
are ways around at least one of them.
I am learning the art of bartering.
old fashioned...
and yet imperative
as a struggling, single mother.

One of the wonderful opportunities
my children have 'bartered' for
is horse riding lessons.
they will be learning the ropes of the farm,
and my son will even be building.
In exchange they will be taught to ride,
and even have the chance to assist the trainer
when she give riding lessons down the road.

I am excited for them.
But, also grateful that they are learning now
that not all priveleges can be bought,
not all are affordable...
but life is possible.
look for it,
work for it...
earn it,
love it...
and know that these moments are out there
you just have to go find them,
or at the very least be willing to say yes
when they come your way!


  1. Good lesson. Sometimes the difficulties is where we learn our greatest lessons and certainly working for wants is one that can only be learned through the doing of it.

    And what lucky kids!


  2. :) This is great! I agree that we live in an instant gratification world. Everything can be bought, and given in an instant. I think its great that you are making your kids work for the things they want! That is definetly the type of parent I am going to be! :)

    Good work mom!

  3. Oh that is wonderful!!! They will gain so much more from this experience and probably develop a life long love of horses too! Fabulous!
    PS Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and I am glad you "all" liked my piece in progress!

  4. What a great lesson to teach them; working for what you want.

  5. The cure for no money is to work more but unfortunately it effects the cure for lack of time. LOL

    I work a 40 hour week and take on a few photography job on the side to make up for the lack of child support money I get from my ex. I know how hard it is to pay a home loan, put food on the table and then find money for swimming lessons, dancing and soccer.

    You are teaching your children a good lesson that will serve them well in the future and the rewards are much sweeter when you have worked hard to reach a goal rather than have it handed to you on a platter. You will instill them with pride in themselves for the work they put in and what they achieve.

  6. Debbie, first, thanks so much for your very kind words on my blog. Second, what a great opportunity for your children to be able to ride horses and learn to care for them as well.

  7. Great lesson, great post, great person. The end! :0)

  8. that's really great...the bartering....and being around the horses will teach the kids so much.

  9. Debbie,

    I am sooooooo excited! I won at Shimmy In My Spirit so that means you won...a gift card....woooooohooooooooooo

    And The Winner of the $20 Starbucks Card Is...

    I drew out the number 17. She is generously giving it to Debbie of Single Mom in a Complicated World.
    Posted by Cynthia at A Shimmy In My Spirit at 5:11 PM

  10. VKT- this was SO amazing to me. Thank you!! your kindness touched me so deeply!!!!!

  11. chocolate mom- thanks for stopping by!

    Breeze- so true. and they are lucky!! they are so excited!

    Brittany- I agree that we are so used to thinks happening instantly. I used to might have done things differently, but then life happened!:)

    SueAnn- they will certainly know what it takes to own one!!:)

    Mama has spoken- a lesson that came later in life for me....

    Liss- true. the cures cross cancel eachother:)! I feel your pain- I do. There is never enough...and it takes doing more for just the basics!! I get this!!

    The pipster- it should be a great experience.

    Eternally distracted- what a nice comment! thank you!:)

    sarah- I hope so!:)

  12. The opportunities you earn are the opportunities you value. Your kids are enjoying a wonderful experience.

  13. I love this post...and I have something special for you. veterankindergartenteacher won a $20 Starbucks Card in my giveaway and asked me to pass it on to you. Come on by to see at
    Email me where to send it. Congratulations.

  14. Very nice post...sorry I haven't been around lately!

  15. tattitiara- you have a great blog. thanks for stopping by!

    Cynthia- thankyou so much! I sent you and email!!

    Ian- Happy to see you no matter how long its been:)!!

    secret agent woman- thanks!!:)

  16. Hi Debbie, I found your blog through VKT...she mentioned you as an inspiration. I can see why:)!~ First off you and your children are absolutely beautiful. I have a few single friends so I can relate to your stories....I have heard a few. You sound like an awesome Mom, and that is the hardest job we can have in our life. I will be back again, as I am a new follower.