Sunday, May 23, 2010

solace in solitude..

I am learning..
time alone
is not something I must adjust to,
instead it is something I need to function.

I have learned to be alone
when I have things to do..
movies, vacations, flea markets..
But, now I am learning to be alone
when its not fun.
when its not easy.
when it hurts.

Most of my life I
have turned to someone
that loves me
when I am sad..

I liked to talk it through
and needed to hear it would be OK.
I found comfort in company.

I have slowly learned to grieve alone.
There may come a day
that there will be someone
in my life to grieve with..
but in this season
I must face these moments in my solitude.

And in facing these moments
I find strength.
I find also find the ability
to reach out to others..
the alone must happen first..
then comes the company
the sharing of the burden..
the knowing I have support.

This weekend
I took the time to be alone..
I am stronger then I have been
since learning of the job loss.
The key was facing it with no words but mine,
no thoughts but those within my heart,
no voices but my Lord,
no outside distractions
or conflicting motives.

Just me.
Just God.
Just real.
Just healing.
Just right!

9 comments:

  1. This is something I continue to struggle with.

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  2. That was me last year, I learned to listened the voice of God in the middle of my grieving. If you need someone to chat or to pray for you, jus, let me know!

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  3. Debbie, I have just popped over from Diane's and I am so sorry to hear about the school closing and your job loss. Many of us are faced with sad and difficult circumstances but as one door closes another one opens♥ Sending you positive wishes for your future ahead xx Linda Ausstralia

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  4. I've been bad, not popping by more often and before i know it so many posts has passed. I am so sorry that you lost your job. I am praying that you continue to be strong in your thoughts and in all you do. I am worried too on my end, so much on my mind. Praying for sanity and God's love. ((Hugs))

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  5. I love to be alone, and I think sometimes I wish I would lean more on the outside. There has to be a happy medium I think. You seem to be doing a good job finding that!

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  6. Wonderful post. There's nothing wrong with wanting company, but finding strength from within is the best approach. It frees us from attachments, and allows us to give love without condition.

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  7. Hello, I am new to your blog:)
    I am also a single momma. Being alone is an area in my life that I am recently dealing with. I agree when you said it is something you need to function . . . that is very true.

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  8. This was a beautiful post, Debbie. You share your heart and thoughts so well.

    I see strength!

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  9. There is something to be said for being alone. As a single woman with many married friends who have children, I have had to make my own fun - vacations, movies, classes. But, especially after losing my brother, I have really wished I had a man in my life.

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