Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Lesson paid for in stress....

So, I embark on a new journey this week..
I take college placement tests today!
meet with financial aide,
and hope to start this semester.
If not January!

I have put off going to college for 18 years!
Why??
FEAR!!!!!!
I did horribly in High school!
I was convinced I was hopeless at math.
and believing that,
I learned virtually nothing!
I barely passed
and grimaced through it!
And college?
well, it required math!

I have always dreamt of teaching!
I truly believe that being a teacher
is to change the world!
Being a mother was my first hearts desire!
But, if I could not be home
I wanted to teach.

I have never forgotten
the first time I dropped my children
off at school.
I looked at the teachers
and begged them within my heart-
to love my kids.
to encourage them.
to validate them.
In that moment I felt the power
of being a teacher!
The gift of touching a child
within their soul.
I knew it was my calling!

BUT, there is this college thing!
I do teach preschool!
I did go to school for this profession.
and I love it!!!!!
I love the nurturing they need,
and the way they share their hearts!
I love their little minds,
I am blessed to do what I do!

But, one day
I want to teach older children
and have some stability
and KNOW that I did the impossible!
I conquered college math!

Above all..
I want to show my children
that I CAN!
and they MUST!
I want them to see
that facing our fears
is the only power we hold over them!
Run and you will run forever!
Submit and you will always believe you cannot!

BUT, face it?
and you will walk away
10 feet taller.
You will know you can!
You will believe in you;
and the power of what you can do.

I want my children
to look at their mom as an example
of overcoming,
rather then as one
who did not because..
well..
she was scared!

So today...
I face that fear!
and come what may,
no matter how badly I might do on the test,
no matter how much work lies ahead...
I can and I will!
and in the end that counts for more
then I wish or I wanted!

12 comments:

  1. How exciting! Good luck lovely!

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  2. Well, I'm proud of you, Debbie! Math was also difficult for me. Thank GOD I already have my Bachelor's. I do have to do more Statistics, though in Grad School. HA!

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  3. Good for you!!! That is so awesome. I wish I could follow in your footsteps.

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  4. Good luck. I struggled with math as well, but I got through it. I got my B.A. and then started my family. Had to wait another 5 years before I could get my teaching credential. I went to a school that offered weekend courses and it took me two years, but I made it through. Just received my credential in June and I start my job in Sept. It's been such a wonderful, yet difficult experience. But my children are only preschoolers and they already imitate me as far as reading books, doing homework, and they love school just as much as I do. I'm going to keep at it too. Two more classes and I get a Masters in Secondary Education. Never thought I'd be doing that, but here I am. If it's something that you love doing, the love for it will get you through the times when you're feeling insecure about your abilities. Wishing you the best!

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  5. Good for you! Best to face it head on and overcome!! I think you will do much better than you think!! My DIL is a teacher and she talks of her "kids" with such fondness and respect. I believe she is one terrific teacher!! And you will be too!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  6. Having taught college classes, I can tell you professors prefer older students who are motivated and hard-working over barely-out-of-teenagehood entitled students, no matter how bright.

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  7. I have always tried to remember that sometimes you just have to "do it afraid", whatever the "it" may be. What you may not be able to see about yourself, is that you have lived this lesson to your kids countless times already! Way to go, you'll succeed! Your life history has already proven that to be true.

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  8. You are a wonderful example for your children! Good luck on the college entrance exams!

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