Thursday, August 5, 2010

my words have dissapeared!

If I was with anyone right now,
having a conversation
I would describe myself
as being 'at a loss for words'.

But, for no reason!
I have almost hit a wall today-
that has rendered me pensive,
and silent.

I think the 3 months of wondering,
would I find work..
The 3 months of worrying
how I would get the kids to and from school..
the last week of knowing I had a job,
but 2 weeks of no childcare for my kids..
the chores that must be done
and may not be gotten too again until next summer,
the back to school shopping and school supplies,
the back to work preparations...
the appointments to be made,
the appointments that were made
and now must be kept...
the emotions of my kids as they face a new school.
the fears I have of the same at work.
the pressure of it all
has just left me
without words
or even thoughts!

A blank space where worry used to be..
a void that peace will soon fill.

and through it all
the continued journey alone,
the wondering why
still.. almost 2 years gone by
no-one to even begin to consider sharing the journey with..
still.. facing the new and the old,
with just my heart and faith to be my guide.

And so,
for today..
for this moment...
my thoughts have ceased to progress beyond the present!
my words have lost their form!
Until a renewed energy hits..
and the reality settles in,
and I once again remember..
I have done this before,
I will do this again!
and it is OK!


  1. Sounds like a wonderful place to be!
    Congratulations on working again and loving it.

  2. Deep breaths my friend, all will be well with you and with your will look back and think "what was I worried about"....Hugs

  3. I tend to look too far ahead and panic. It's hard to take one step at a time and see the path He want's us on.
    You WILL be Ok!

  4. It is a lot of pressure for one! So with all this rushing around, try to remember to take some time out for you. Do something special for yourself. You deserve it and need a break!!

  5. Have faith and patience. The time will come...

  6. I tend to feel that way too. Very nicly said.

    I'm here from Trendy Treehouse New Friend Friday. I hope that you have a great weekend!

  7. Glad you got your name back and you have to stay positive. Slow and steady wins the race, I know you are rolling your eyes at that but you have to let happiness find you. Your kids are always going to be there, so you have to find the good in all.

    Doing what you have done all along and getting your kids to this point is a huge reward. Im sure school is starting soon if not already and they will be there, and that is another reward.

    Have a great weekend and stop worrying. If you let stuff bother you over the weekend then go look in the mirror and smack yourself back to happiness

    Be strong and safe and have a great one