Friday, March 6, 2009

Finding a little of 'me' in the oddest place

I know that I am on a journey that involves many things...
one of those things is finding myself..
but even bigger;
REfinding myself!!

I am, in many ways, 'little house on the praire ' at heart, throw in tree hugger, whale lover, save the world, vegetarian and you get a small picture of who I am! OR at least who i used to be!

In the role I lived in my old life 'stay at home, traditional, homeschooling wife and mom' ..I could do all the 'earthy' things I loved! I juiced, attempted gardens, even made jam (only once! LOL)..picked strawberries and blueberries in patches..spent time in parks and at lakes... I embraced nature with my children by raising butterflies and tadpoles... I LOVED IT!!

When I lost my 'role' I thought I had lost that part of me! Mostly because I did not know how it fit with my new schedule..and the craziness of raising 3 kids alone, on a daily basis. And also because I lost a little hope and the way I looked at the world became a little jaded!!

And then yesterday..on a field trip with my daughter I found a piece of my tree hugging old the form of.........
yes.... 1000 of the little suckers!
I am now a certified, recycler in the healthiest way possible with my own garbage disposal of nature loving earthworms!
And I could not be happier!!
because I discovered that below all the changes and all the craziness and business! Below all the loss and sadness, below all the fears I sometimes have...below all the life I live now...
I am still me! I may be a bit jaded but I am as kooky as always!:) And can still get as excited as a 4 year old over a bucket of worms and the possibility of saving the person..or worm at a time!!